About Widow

Large Handbag Collector. Obscenely Expensive Shoe & Handbag Lover. Blonde. Redhead. Brunette. Breastfeeder. Pug-fox terrier belly scratcher. Drunken Break Dancer. Bartender of the stars. Semi Conscious Writer. Earth loving. Tori Amos Listening. Loud Mouth. Chef Loving Lady...

Today, an old friend made my day.  Thank you Andrea.

Today, I got the wind knocked out me.

Today, I sobbed like a baby for two hours straight with a grin on my face.

Today,  I wrote rewrote erased deleted wrote finished published this post 19 times.

Today,  I reflect.

Today,  I threw up from overwhelming joy.  Seriously.  Ask C-Money.

Today, there are no worries.

Today, changes tomorrow.

Today, my pride is bursting at the seams.

Today, I think about the past but am finally able to see our future.

Today, all of the Chef’s blisters disappeared (at least for a moment).

Today, I took my children to our restaurant and smiled while I watched the people come and go.

Today, I read that our restaurant is going to be named ONE of the TEN BEST RESTAURANTS in America by Bon Apetit Magazine.

Today, I googled Bon Appetit’s circulation.

Today, I drank pounded a bottle of wine after I googled Bon Appetit’s circulation. Holy mother.

Today, I said thank you to people who have been with us since day one as well as the people who became part of our family last week.  It’s your victory as well.

Toady, I saw tomorrow.

Today, I made out with a Chef.

Today, I am overwhelmed with pure happiness.

I want to share my happiness and my gratitude with all of you.  I would love to hear your stories of utter happiness.  A defining moment when you knew your life had changed.  My life changed today and I am so lucky that I have all of you to be by my side.  You have been a part of our journey and I would love to be able to show how much I appreciate your support.  Please leave me comments (regarding the above) and I will bestow upon one random person some badass widow swag.  I will randomly choose a winner on Friday August 7th, Noon (eastern time).

Beach Bag from the Gap filled with the following goodies:

The Greenhouse Tavern’s Reidel Glassware (2 logo wine glasses)

The Greenhouse Tavern Tee (signed by the Chef’s)

A Pair of Crocs Flip Flips

An original Catcher Sawyer painting

Bottle of Delicious Red Wine

Funky Memory Stick from BlogHer ’09

The keys to my blog (if you are so inclined I would love for the winner to do a guest post about your happy moment!)

Bonne Chance bitches.

After all their hard work at Veggi U, Chef Jonathon Sawyer & Chef Leann Wong have one ten celebratory cocktail(s)

Sometimes I think that I hurt the Chef more than help.  I feel like my presence alginates him from getting to know other chefs.   I sometimes feel like a third wheel after events when all the chef’s hang together, drinking scotch, & talking shop.

In the culinary world, chefs not only run restaurants but they also do many many events.  For the local folks you know that the Chef is usually doing an event in the Cleve about once a week.  It can get pretty hectic but we (the restaurant) really enjoy getting out there and mingling with people who love food.  After some of these events there tends to a gathering of chefs for an after party.  Being that I am the Chef’s Widow I have been to 8.7 million of these after parties.  I have hung out till the wee hours of the morning with some kick ass culinary masterminds.  It has only been lately that the thought of these after parties have begun to freak me out.

At the last after party I felt like a third wheel.  I felt like I was infringing on the Chef’s right to hang out with the people he admires most.  Of course this was totally all in my mind and he will tell you that he always prefers that I am with him.  He thinks I make him better.  But do I make him better?  Or do I alienate him from meeting his mentors, making connections, or just have some good ‘ole wife-free fun?  Most chefs that I have come in to contact with his age are not living the life we live.  They do not have kids nor are they married.  And if they are married with children they sure as hell leave their wives at home.  So I ask myself, do I really belong at these events by his side or I am doing him more harm than good?

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

***For all the locals, The Huffinton Post is asking for your favorite local restaurant, I know what mine is!  Let’s get Cleveland in the TOP TEN!!!!

Veto begins his journey towards relaxation…looking for a spot, settling in, then, squirrel!  Relaxation time is O-V-E-R.  How can a pug fox terrier sleep when there are creatures invading his backyard at any moment?  Howwwww?????

Veto contemplates his exsistence.  How can this be all there is?  Food, water, massages, and licking stuff.  There has to be more to life, there just has to!

Sometimes Veto gets a little amorous, especially if stinky feet are nearby.  Let the lickins’ commence!

99% of the time Mr. Veto plays the role of serious pug fox terrier.  He is on guard at all times and if you walk on his sidewalk he will cut you (or just bark for 10 minutes at nothing).

Obviously.

Somehow managed to become a post card model in between blog fights and man invasions

I almost left the BlogHer Conference 6 hours after I arrived in Chicago.  My first impression was not a pretty one.

After a very long morning of delayed flights & planes with engine trouble ( 2 xanax for me!) I arrived in Chicago ready to lose my virginity to the great BlogHer conference.   I had no idea what to expect being my first conference.  I had my volunteer schedule, the speaker/panelist schedule, and the party schedule.  When we landed I hopped in the shuttle to find myself riding with a fellow bloggess.  She spoke highly of the conferences that she had been to before.  My excitement for the weekend away, a weekend surrounded by people who do the same thing I do every day, began to grow.

Because I received a bloghership (a free ride in exchange for some volunteerism) to the conference I had to arrive a day early.  There I was in a hotel I had never stayed in before, in a city I had never seen, about to meet a roommate whom I had never met.  Interesting times were ahead. That night the roomie and I met up with my Chicago girl, Tempted.  We had a fabulous dinner at Publican and then headed back to the hotel for the first night of BlogHer parties.  I still exhausted from the delayed flight and length of the day, skipped the first rager for a nap.  I set my alarm for the second festivity and closed my eyes.

When I arrived at the party a few hours later, I noticed a herd of women squeezing together so tight it looked like they were in an imaginary corral.  Jill and I were standing at the outskirts when we noticed the bags of swag on a table in front of corralled women.  It was hot and smelly.  Women were pushing and I immediately lost Jill in the madness.  I left  the debauchery.  On my way out I ran into some chicks by the bar and we chatted about the insanity & greed of the women in front of us.  It was so odd.  All of these women were here for the conference however they were acting as though the $12 dildo in the swag bag would grant them eternal life.  The entire experience bummed me out and made me think my entire weekend would be a bunch of crazy ass blitches taking out babies for swag.

It was at that point that I truly considered hoping in a cab and heading home.  I didn’t fly to Chicago &  leave my kids, husband, and dogs to partake in what seemed like a god damn reality show.  Here I was looking to connect with bloggers, with women.  I came to the conference with hopes of finding friendship and knowledge, not greed and shame.

But I didn’t leave.  I went up to my room, poured myself a glass of Primativo, & took a bath all the while keeping my fingers crossed that the swine of swag would not ruin my experience at my very first BlogHer Con.  I decided to give the ‘ole girl a chance.

Looking back, I am SO GLAD that I didn’t leave.  Sure there were some crazed mommy bloggers threatening people, talking shit, and punching babies, but there were also some amazing speakers, panelists, and bloggers of the non psycho for swag variety that I was fortunate enough to mingle with.

The weekend away ended up being quite inspirational for me as well as for the future of the Widow.  I am an inspired woman with a new dream, a new goal for this blog and that would not be the case had I not attended BlogHer ’09.  I am excited to see where all of my new found knowledge and connections will lead me.  I look forward to next year’s conference with hopes of change in the swag department and anticipation for the location.  New York City baby!

The Chicago sun and I making sweet sweet love on a park bench

1.  I am not as social as I once was.  In fact I am kind of a lame ass.  5 years ago this crazy widow would be the headliner of every social event in town.    Today not so much.  A bed, a book, and a bath is my idea of a kick ass night.

2.  The above being said, the people I’ve met and the friendships I’ve made at BlogHer ’09 appear to be ones that may last a very long time.  Miss Britt, Mr. Lady, Busy Dad, and Mommy is Moody…I heart you a million.

3.  I do not drink nearly as much as I used to.  Not even remotely close.  I am SO super lameo.  However, being hungover and listening to people talk about the interwebs sucks ass.

4.  I am madly in love with my children & the Chef and I desperately miss them.  To the point of serious depression.

5.  I really really really love to hang out with myself alone.  Some of the best time this weekend had been with me & only me.  And I am pretty awesome… so you know I’m having fun.

6.  I am madly in love with Chicago.  I can so see us living here.  Or opening a restaurant here.  Near future….?

7.  I don’t give a shit about swag.

8.  I do give a shit about all of the awesome intelligent informative educating and funny BlogHer sessions & speakers.

9.  I think daddy (and dude) bloggers are too cool for school.

10. Top 10 lists are fucking awesome.

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