It’s Friday night and I am sitting in front of a computer screen trying to collect all of my thoughts that have been bopping around my head for the past 14 days. It’s not working.
Quick Summary: the move was trying. The kids were difficult. The Chef was aloof. I was mean.
I do not handle extreme amounts of stress well. When I am overwhelmed at every which way I look, I tend to get a bit dicey. Bitchy if you may.
This move may have shown me in a less than perfect light to my husband. Ok. I came off as a complete asshole. I lost my mind. I just couldn’t handle all the packing and the kids and the dogs and the bills while he went off to work.
I am used to our life. I get the hours. I know he works he ass off constantly. I understand that if he is not in that restaurant 15 hours/day we will not do not have a future. I understand that to my soul. But sometimes it is just so hard and I get so tired.
This move broke me. At least for a moment. And in that moment I thought about all the what if’s…
What if he wasn’t a Chef?
What if we didn’t own a restaurant?
What if I was single?
What if I never had kids?
What if I lived in Key West and drank Hurricanes all day and taught scuba?
What if?
And then I slapped my self, drank a glass of Cantillon (my ale of choice) and listened to some Tori (cause girl always cheers me up).
I love what the Chef does. I love our life. It is fucking hectic and sometimes when I close my easy it’s too easy to picture a different life. But that’s the thing. It would be too easy to have a different life. I don’t want easy. Even though I bitch when times are tough, I like it when times are tough. It shows me that the man I married three years ago (this week) and I can get through anything. We may not like each other for 5 minutes and we may yell but at the end of it all I know that I will be proud of our life. Our life. The life we somehow created between two crazy kids who dated in high school, became best friends in college, and fell in love in New York City.
Happy Anni (#2) Chef. 3 down. 100 to go.
You’re doing fine. Moving is stressful. None of this will matter 50 years from now. Right? All that will matter is the kids and that you guys built a great life together. You can do it.
Moving is in the top 5 most stressful events in a life (up there with death of a loved one, divorce, new job and I forget the 5th). I don’t deal well with it either. Before Cleveland, we were on the 2yr plan: 2 yrs here, 2 yrs there… most of it not by choice. It was a major pain. But, isn’t there always something a bit boring about the status quo, after a while? Think of the new adventures ahead
and… We’re happy you’re now in the hood!
Congrats on the 3rd and many more to come!
Omg, I could have written this post myself–down to the questions you asked yourself and the magnificent Tori! The only difference is I’m still in the “selling house” situation and that sucks big time, too. BIG. TIME. Between the dogs, my kid, and my husband’s schedule, I have to find time to make the house look spectacular. Are you kidding me? Seriously. Good luck in your new place!
cant blame you for being mad, you know your man coul dbe home sooner, he just chooses to hang longer than needed to make u do all the work. sorry hun.
Good words, A … good reminder to remember that you chose this … and there is a good reason for it. Stress is stress and you’d have it regardless of what your surroundings looked and felt like, right?
Happy “Anni” !!
I get bitchy when I’m under stress, too. It’s not pretty. I wish I could handle it with more panache, but I also wish I had my 23-year-old body back and that’s not going to happen either.
Happy anniversary to you guys. Love the pic. You look so happy! How can you not love a guy who wears Vans on his wedding day!?
Cut yourself some slack. Moving sucks more than anything else in the world. You packed up all of your entire life, moved it from one place to another – success!!! Who could be Miss Merry Sunshine during all that? You did great!
Moving is can be extremely stressful especially with two and pets. It’s good that at the end of the day you were able to remember the happy times. Love the wedding pic!
Moving sucks. No matter how much you prepare or think you’re ready, you’re not. You weren’t mean, just normal. Sounds hokey, but in a few years you’ll look back at this time in your life and laugh about it….
Amen, sister. My thoughts exactly. The hustle is only worth it when you’re grateful for what you have, right? Congrats on a successful move!