Chef’s Widow Does PBS Frontline
Published in Widowism by chefswidowWe really like each other.
Isn’t it funny how the silliest things can affect your relationship? The Chef & I have been at each other’s throats lately. Too much stress, the move, lack of lovin’, and the kids being complete 5 am crazies have put some distance between us. Last night I received an email from the Chef regarding said distance. He was kind and loving and spoke of what he has been feeling lately. It was a bit hard for me to read because I have issues admitting fault. It did open my eyes and I barely slept due to all the thoughts racing around in my head.
I woke up this morning to the above video that I filmed for PBS Frontline at BlogHer ’09. 5 Simple words and my day was changed. We really like each other. And the thing is, deep down we really do. There is a reason our lives have been intertwined since we were teenagers. We really like each other.
I just love this blog and you, it is soo hard to be a Chef’s Widow…I am at my wit’s end right now, all my Chef does is work, play on the computer and SLEEP, it’s hard to remeber sometimes what attracted me to him, lol!! But then he will do something sweet and kind for me or our son and all the love comes pouring back!!
Thanks for posting this video! Hope everything goes back to good soon!
That’s really cool!
From an old hand at this marriage stuff, Finding fault is not important, compromise is. On another note my fortune cookie fortune today, “There is nothing lost or wasted in this life”.
Great post. Mr. Waitress and I have also been intertwined since high school; when things start to get tense (an it’s almost always work-related or at least work-inspired), we will sometimes just look at each other and say “you’re my favorite person in the world, can we please not fight?” the first time he said that to me I almost started crying on the spot, it was one of the best things anyone has ever said.
We also say “you’re the last person in the world I still *like* at the moment, let’s please not ruin that.”
What an awesome suggestion! You rock Amelia!
That is truly the most important thing – liking each other. After 26+ years of marriage that has been the one constant – even when I couldnt’ stand him. Hang in there – the tough times make the good times so much more sweet.
Shucks guys. You sure know how to make a chick feel good. It is so cool to know that other people go through what I go through. I love all of our interconnectedness! And it just so happens that today is the day of interconnectedness 9.9.9. Crazy http://www.interconnectedness090909.org/
Amelia,
Will this air on a Frontline episode. By the way I see that all the time. Two people at a table no one speaking to each other both plugged into some hand held device.
People need to unplug and talk to each other again.
Damn facebook!
Maria
That was great! You even film well/speak well on film. It is amazing how “simple” that concept is and that it should always be easy to remember, but I’m definitely in the same boat. Sometimes, I forget we are “on the same team” and if I just stop and realize that, I’ll know to make better choices about what I say and how I say it. The issue being that I need to learn to actually stop for a minute so that I do realize it. Work in progress!
And the fact that you both “really like each other” is something that will keep your relationship strong — I have so much respect for you and the chef, what a challenging time that will most definitely bring you closer together in the end.
xo*
I am not sure this will air. I got an email saying it was a possibility but you know how that goes.
Relationships can be difficult and I find that if I don’t treat it like a job ours goes to shit. Efforts must be made and real work must happen to have those great moments with the ones we love!
Amelia, dear,
It’s called “a marriage.” And given what you have been doing the last number of months, “liking each other” is a very big deal. Moving takes a huge toll out of both of you and the preparation for moving, plus the move, plus the settling in, takes months.
And it is very difficult on both of you. And…strangely, sometimes, on your children.
As long as you find a few minutes to hug and laugh…and make sure you do…everyone will feel comfortable.
Love, Linda