I Thought I Left High School Years Ago
Published in Widowism by chefswidowFrom Guest Blogger, Tom The Girl (who happened to be one of my best friends in grade school)
I’m 30 years old. Sometimes I don’t feel like a grown up, but I guess that I am. I may live a younger person’s lifestyle, but I still have a daughter and boyfriend (basically husband), and an actual job. Yup, I guess that makes me a grown up.
But what classifies me more as a grown up than my responsibilities is my level of maturity. I see people as adults, and treat them equally, and with respect. I gave up the law of popularity that governed high school…well, back in high school. I thought every other person my age did, too.
And then I discovered social networking.
The worst offender is Twitter. The rapid sharing of ideas and one liners makes the site more of a huge chat room than a forum for general personal status updates. People who don’t tweet: you should probably stop reading now, because I always hear “I just don’t get it” from non-tweeps. (yes, we even have our own ghey language).
With the chat room format comes the ability to CHOOSE whether or not you want to respond to somebody who has spoken directly to you. And many times, people don’t.
Now, some folks are super popular because they are famous outside of Twitter (aka Ashton Kutcher), and they simply do not have time to respond to their millions of followers, but other people don’t respond to people unless they are part of their clique, or they are a “connected” person.
Now it’s starting to sound like the mob. It very well may be, but without all the knee busting and cement shoes ;)
Anyways…these certain (self-proclaimed) popular folks ignore other people simply because they think they are better than them. They are so full of self-importance that they cannot even take one moment out of their lives to say hello back to some mother who would probably smile all day, just from being recognized by a “famous” person on twitter. Mind you, I’m still talking famous as in they have a well read blog, or a few thousand followers.
They may be a housewife, novelist, or secretary. Regardless, they obviously have an awful lot of time on their hands, as they are always online, keeping us updated of their every move via twitpic, tweet, or video.
It doesn’t bother me so much that there are proverbial jocks and cheerleaders in the land of twitterdom, or royaltweep, but I just cannot stand how these people think they are so much better than their peers, and will not give them the time of day.
Yet they all (almost all, unless feuding) know each other, respond to each other, and keep the world guessing with their constant stream of inside jokes. (end sarcasm)
Well, guess what? Get a clue. You, dear tweeter with ten mozillion followers who turns her nose up at the woman who just told you to have a good day, really are NOT important. You are no better today than the homecoming queen was your senior year of high school.
TRUTH
Everybody is equal.
TRUTH
Social networking is only one small small small part of the entirety of our lives, our existence, our world.
TRUTH
I tweet therefore I am is not something we should applaud, nor is it something I want to share with my children.
Yes, I do partake in the addiction that is social networking, but I do it in my spare time, and I do it as a means of support. Because I have a family. Because I am a mother.
And they always come first.
Sara is on Twitter, obviously, follow her. Why not follow Chef’s Widow too?
Clap
i wouldn’t take it so personally. I have like 10 followers on twitter and even I don’t respond to every @reply i get. I think if you tell someone to “have a nice day,” you may want to do it with no expectation of getting anything in return. I don’t think being on twitter saddles a person with the obligation to respond to anyone. On the other hand, I’ve felt your frustration in asking questions and not getting answered. I think that’s the essence if twitter though: immediacy. It’s an “in the moment” kind of communication. When I don’t get a response or “attention” from other tweeple, I don’t take it personally, just as I wouldn’t want anyone to feel ignored by me when I don’t respond to a tweet. I can’t speak for your personal experience on twitter (it sounds as though you are recounting a specific encounter), but not replying to a tweet doesn’t necessarily mean a person thinks he/she is better than you; maybe he/she just gets too many tweets to read.
I think that there is definitely a hierarchy that is revealed after you begin to use Twitter every day. I have responded to some ppl and never heard anything. Ever. But I just don’t give a shit. I have met some of these holier than though tweeters and I am way cooler than them in real life.
I agree with Chef’s Widow. There is definitely a hierarchy on twitter. Should there be? In an ideal world, no. But I think Twitter mimics reality, unfortunately.
I try to respond to all my @’s, but that’s not always possible. I always appreciate people taking the time to comment though. And the more someone comments, the more I see their name in my stream, the more likely I am to respond to them first.
Twitter is SO much like high school I’m amazed I’m still “attending.” To be repeatedly… unacknowledged (ignored seems too harsh a word) by someone you’ve @’ed is more than a little discouraging.
That being said, if I have tried to respond to a person on Twitter a few times to no avail, I go into defence mode, shrug it off, and deem them not worth MY time. There are so many other people out there — “famous” or not — who are more than happy, willing, and able to converse with me, I won’t waste my time on someone who can’t be bothered to respond.
killer post! needed to be said… and unfortunately will need to be said again and again and again.
I am so totally breaking the rules by spending my at-work time to read this post and then COMMENT on this post but you pulled me in.
In my mind I was envisioning a similar post. Then I toyed with the idea that maybe it’s my own insecurity that needs mending and not the actions of others. And then I decided that I am quite secure, thank you very much and fuck you for making me feel otherwise. And then I thought that maybe, like high school, it really doesn’t matter very much if these people don’t respond because screw them and their higher hierarchy. In the end? In the end I really do believe in that last bit. It doesn’t matter in terms of cliques and groups and high school. What it’s really about is decency. Common decency. If I held the Starbucks door open for these bitches while they traipsed in cluck-clucking in their cliquey conversation would they throw me a “thank you”? Hmm, sometimes it appears they are just too good for that.
So I know how you feel. And it’s ridiculous. And it FEELS ridiculous wasting any of OUR time thinking or talking about it. But we wouldn’t be honest either if we didn’t. And SOMEBODY has to be authentic out there. So thanks for giving it a go.
(sadly goes back to work now)
I try not to let it bother me if someone doesn’t respond to something I direct at them specifically. Fact is though, I’m on twitter to reach out and to socialize. Nothing worse than speaking up only to feel like you’re talking into a vacuum. I’ve been pretty lucky and tend to get a response when one is warranted. Anyone who thinks I’m less based on my hierarchy on twitter a.) doesn’t know what they’re missing (I’m teh awesome yo!) b.) isn’t someone I want to be friends with and c.) quite frankly not worth my valuable time. *unfollow*
xo
I totally did the fist pump in the air, you know the one Judd Nelson did in the Breakfast Club- totally awesome
Hmm… I thought I was the only one who noticed the cliques. The holier-then-thou attitude annoys me, but to be honest, I just unfollow people who do not show any effort in responding to my @s. I don’t have time, energy, or interest in engaging in any drama. If someone feels superior to me because they are popular on the internet, then that is their problem. Seriously… it’s the internet. People need to get over themselves.
That has been on my mind the last couple days too. I am insecure so I thought it was just me. The only thing I have to say is, if you don’t get @back, then why continue to follow them? You won’t “hear” what they are tweeting about and you won’t care, right? Or, call them out! It’s like the little kid kicking at the ground and mumbling because no one has picked him for the team. If he doesn’t speak up, who will pick him. Of course I would never do that because I am a wimp! I know that you are a tough cookie, so try it. I’ll stand behind you for support!
I totally see what you are saying. I don’t let it bug me too much because I know my friends are the coolest ones and they are missing out. Lurves you!
The whole @ thing is the toughest thing to navigate on Twitter. To the point where I sometimes refrain from tweeting anything that might get responses if I’m busy at work and cannot reply to too many people. Because you’ll always offend somebody no matter what you do/don’t do.
disclaimer: the fact that I’m commenting does not imply that I think I am big time. Just contributing to the conversation
disclaimer 2: the last time you @’d me, we had a full on conversation about UFC, so I’m covered for a few years, right
Well said. I’ve had very similar thoughts on the subject. Kudos for putting it out there.
Thanks for all your replies! I wish I could comment more but have no internet atm.
I just wanted to put this post out there so maybe the few people that I believe really are guilty of carrying this attitude around might get a clue. But I also put it up there to speak out for the (men and) women who I see @ more “known” people, only to be shut down over and over. I have seen some of my “friends” do this – whether or not it is intentional, I do not know, but it needed to be addressed.
And for all those who know me: you can be damn sure I would call out anybody who I felt carried on with the holier than thou attitude!
I’m totally secure, but I can still call a bitch a bitch when I see one.
Hearts
Btw @busydad – that convo was so awesome, I think we are both covered for the rest of our lives. Well, at least until the machida v shogun fight! Lol
I use twitter for both my personal blog as well as for our restaurant. It is extremely hard for me to keep up with the @ responses sometimes however I always make an attempt. Granted it may be 3 weeks after you tweeted about your dinner but wtf, I’ve got 2 kids. Girl can’t be on the internet all the time. Well I could if I let Dora raise my kids but I really don’t want them speaking Spanish.
I kid. I kid.
In all seriousness I loved reading this post when Sara sent it to me. Her words explained how I felt the first 6 months I used twitter. Now I am either to drunk too care or I just twitterbomb people.
Yet another reason why we need to do drinks – lol.
I so totally, totally agree with you here. If anyone takes the time out of the day to @ me, I’m going to say something back, even if it’s just an acknowledgment. Jeebus. Seems like common courtesy to me.
There’s one person I had this issue with and decided to unfollow. I felt so much better.
And like I said in my tweet: It’s like high school, but I was totally more popular in high school.
You’re the newest in my reader, BTW… found you thru Nic @MyBottlesUp
Sara – I feel the same way to at times. One thing that I can say is that those that have the ‘zillions’ of followers sometimes get a dump of tweets at a time so, sometimes I imagine that it’s hard to post back to everyone.
I’ve had people that I thought were friends though suddenly stop responding and that makes me much much sadder. Thanks for responding to my tweets!
It sucks and it does make me a little mad sometimes, like it does you.
Kate – glad to have you following my blog! I look forward to your comments.
I’m on hiatus atm, however, bc I just moved and have no internet except my phone.
Ill be back soon tho!
I don’t understand the High School mentality – did anyone really enjoy High School? Blah. Anyway, I try not to take it personally, but I also don’t follow some of the very well known bloggers, because they’re not cool enough for me. Ha. I kid. But really, I try to keep up with people I have something in common with.
I do get discouraged when I feel like I’m only talking to myself though… it happens. I just try to remember that we’re all busy.
I read this post yesterday but didn’t have time to respond. I agree with everyone’s comments. Twitter is full of Cliques. Worse than high school in my opinion. Trying to break in or fit in drives me crazy. I don’t know why I do it or want it. I guess for the connection.
I’m having to realize that some people won’t follow me back because of my race, sexuality or whatever reasons. That sucks but their loss!
If I @ one of these “popular” people I don’t usually do so expecting a response.
Regardless I still value the connections and friendships I have made and will continue to make on Twitter.
Awesome post. Totally get it. I have been snubbed by a couple that I have dubbed “head cheerleaders.” Not just on Twitter but in real life as well. Love how you say WE ARE ALL EQUAL. Thank you!
hugs and kisses to you all for your awesome comments!
OMG You are reading my mind!
I wrote a post about the whole Twitter Clique Phenom awhile back- come by and check it out:
http://www.pajamasandcoffee.com/?p=626
Also I had a total twitantrum one day and unfollowed everyone who wasn’t following me back. I called it my #clickunfollowpower campaign! And- um – High School? Nope, I was acting more like a temper tantrum-throwing PRESCHOOLER but ya know what? That ‘minus one’ feeling- even if the person has a million followers- just feels good.
Awesome. Well saId!! So glad you wrote this. Twitter is a joke, but I too am addicted to the insaniety of Twitter. SHHH don’t tell anyone…
Mariah
@mariahdawn on Twitter
*said* not sald. Sald is something completely different… and technical
Dude. YES. YES. YES. I love you.