Archive for Widow Holidays
Happy Father’s Day
We sure do love our dad!
How To Dye Easter Eggs That Won’t Make Your Children Act Like Cracked Out Mini Humans
I’m not much for processed foods. They freak me out and deep down I think they are the source of all our health problems. My kids eat from scratch every day of their lives whether they like it our not. I’m sure they wish I would buy them Danimals or Lunchables, like our parents did, but I refuse to be a part of the problem and I absolutely refuse to play a role in the demise of my children’s health
That being said, I don’t use food dyes. I have had an aversion to food dyes since the boy’s first birthday when I made him a Blue’s Clues cake. Diaper changing was not so pleasant that night, I learned the hard lesson that the only people who should poop blue are the smurfs.
With the recent controversy (again) regarding food dyes and it’s ADHD behavorial effects in children, I knew I made the right choice that day the diaper turned blue. But making the right choice regarding food dyes really, really screws you on Easter. Food dyes are the heart and soul (sorry Jesus) of Easter. How can you celebrate Easter without the colorful array of hard boiled (dyed) Easter eggs? More importantly, how can you make the eggs without making your children sick?
The answer, like most answers, are right in front of us. This time we find the answer in our Earth. Better yet, we find the answer growing from our earth:
VEGGIES, SPICES, & ONION PEELS!
Hold onto those Easter baskets kids, Chef’s Widow is about to blow your mind.
Holiday High
Year Two w/ Mr. Kringle
What Not to Do While Dining Out on New Years Eve
Everyone in the restaurant industry calls New Years Eve, amateur night. The general consensus is that the majority of people who visit restaurants on NYE are not frequent diners. Unfortunately, not so frequent diners have a small habit of being not so eloquent, especially when it comes to New Year’s Eve. This morning I posed the following question to Facebook & Twitter:
What shouldn’t you do as a restaurant patron tonight?
1. Leave a lousy tip!
2. Get drunk, puke in the bathroom, and leave it for the entire restaurant to see.
3. Be late for your reservation. It fucks up the entire night when even one party is late.
4. Try to modify a prix fixe menu. It’s NYE, I’m not serving burgers!!!
5. Be late for your reservation or try to modify a prix fixe menu. It’s NYE, I’m not serving burgers!!!
6. Call for a rezzy on New Year’s Eve & then curse when nothing is available.
7. Monopolize your server. You are not their only customer. More than likely, they are in the weeds, and need to be five different places at once.
8. Try to use a coupon. No one takes coupons on New Years. No one.
9. Say you’re ready to order & then stare at your menu for five minutes.
10. Avoid telling the hostess who you are & why you are important. She doesn’t care if your Brad Pitt. All she cares about is getting her dining room sat.
11. Order a rare steak then send it back cause it’s cold in the middle!
12. Ask the chef to split appetizer after appetizer, attempting a cheap custom prix fixe. Then not ordering a single entree.
13. Tell your server half-way through your prix fixe that you have tickets so could you please just bring everything up at once?
14. Mistreat the service staff. Yes, they are there to serve you. No, they aren’t your servant.
15. Try to drunkenly make out with the Chef.
Take heed diners. We’ve got our eye on you!!!
xoxo
Happy New Year!
