I think it is pretty safe to assume that I am getting into the groove of living in NYC. It has definitely been a tough transition and I really wouldn't wish it on anyone with a young child but I have been feeling like Amelia again. What the hell does that mean, you ask? I shall tell...
I have always considered myself pretty independent of everything and anyone. I was not that girl who always had to have a man holding her up. I did my own thing and always liked being by myself. Well that entire description of myself drastically started to change after I had the baby. Totally normal, you feel dependent on the family that you have just created with the man you love. So the first year of Catcher's life I let my independence go, I gave it all up. I basically wrapped it in a box and handed it over to Jon. Since we moved to NYC that independence I used to have stamped on my forehead had almost completely disappeared. When Jon went to work, I was sad. When he came home, I was upset & depressed for being home alone all day. When he had a day off I would start fights just because I blamed him for my lack of gusto. Anyways, I now, after 5 months of hell & back, know that it was for the most part my issue. I became a scared woman staying at home with her young baby unable to make friends or venture out onto the scary streets of New York. Well that bitch is gone. I am done being scared of my new environment. I am going to embrace it and fall in love with New York all over again. I am going to accept the fact that I married someone who is going to work the most ridiculous hours for at least the next ten years. I am going to tell him everyday that even though he is not home I still love him and am thankful of the time I get with him. I am woman, hear me moth*%F@*ckin ROAR. P.S. This is my crazy boy, Hef, standing on my coffee table. What a pimp.

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