The chef & I are the most unlucky couple in the world. Ever since we started dating we have had a notorious string of 'bad' luck. This 'bad' luck seems to hit us hard at least once or twice a year and then leave us alone so we think that our karma is realigned.

Last year, the day after our church wedding (a year ago from this past Monday) we hopped on a plane for our honeymoon in St. Barth's. Before we could even leave the country all of our honeymoon cash was stolen. That's right we (actually me) took $1000 on a plane and expected everything to work out well. It didn't. We had a layover in Newark and when we got to the fancy hotel that chef's parents had put us up in for the eve, I realized my wallet was gone. Needless to say our honeymoon did not start out as planned. Thank god for the chef's parents who immediately calmed both of us-I had never seen the chef so mad, I thought he was going to punch a hole in the wall-and then Western Unioned us cash for the trip.

This year, the night before our 1 year church wedding anniversary the chef gets arrested and taken to jail. That's right my friends, jail. For what? Well that's where it gets a little tricky and I get a little angry.

He & the boy were driving to his parents house when he went through a yellow light. My phone rings about five minutes later and it is the chef asking where his insurance card is. At this point I am naked and literally getting into the bath so his call does not make me the happiest wife. In the background I hear this cop say "I think we have a bigger problem here than your insurance Mr. Chef." The chef puts me on hold, comes back to the phone and then tells me that he is being arrested for driving under suspension. Long story short is that the chef had an outstanding ticket in NYC (big surprise) and it showed up on his record. Basically in the state of Ohio if you have an out of state unpaid ticket the officer can either be a respectable human being and let you know about your ticket or he can be a complete suburban cop asshole from North Royalton and suspend your lisense right there on the spot, arrest you in front of your two year old son, and take you to jail to post a $500 cash bond on the eve of your anniversary.

At the time, I thought it was comical. I mean between the chef and I & every other person that lives in NYC, the tickets unpaid could be infinite. I mean the average New Yorker who uses a car in the city probably gets a ticket at least once every two weeks. However, once I got home with my jailbird and I started researching what happened, we realized that this suburban cop asshole totally fucked us. I mean the chef's license wasn't even suspended until that eve. Now almost $1000 later & he has to go to court on Wednesday to pay more money to this power abusing suburban police department.

***Sidenote***All we had to do to get his license back was prove that he paid the tix and pay the state $30. That's right $30. So basically this prick of a man arrested my husband in front of my son for thirty dollars.

All in all I am not angry at the chef. It messed our week up pretty bad and it proved the fact that we are still the most 'unlucky' couple alive. But it also made me realize how much I still hate the suburbs. And cops. I just can't deal with abuse of power. Especially when you pull some shit like that cop did in front of the boy. I mean you gotta be such a maniacal ego maniac to arrest a father (who did not commit a crime) in front of his all knowing 26 month old. The problem is that the 'burbs get way too much money from the state so then it has to be dispersed and the 'burbs build up this super human testosterone driven police force. For chrissake, the police force in Strongville (where we happily reside) is almost as large as the city of Cleveland's police force. Does that make any sense at all? To put that into perspective check it out:

Cleveland has roughly 400,000 people living in the city. Strongsville has 44,000. Their police forces are close to the same size. But that's another conversation for another day.

Enough already. I have vented. Now I must go enjoy the Cleveland's Children Museum with the chef & the boy. Happy Sunday y'all! Be sure to check out train wreck Spears this eve on MTV. Apparently good 'ol Brit Brit is the opening lip syncing act.

Ciao. Ciao.

Widowismchefswidow3 Comments