Hormones Suck.

I must say that the Chef handles me & my psychosis fairly well. The past nine months have proved this and now I am finally catching up to the fact that no other person on this earth would have stuck around (except maybe Brad Pitt, as it seems he probably takes a bit of shit from Angelina).

I know that I am really hard. I have never denied this. The chef has always known what a mega bitch I am. In high school, he compared me to Rose McGowan's character in the movie Jawbreaker. Of course now he denies that he ever said that but I remember. My memory regarding the Chef is flawless.

Dude knew, then and now what he was getting himself into. He married a bitch, prego or not, and it seems that he is cool with it. Which is amazing because sometimes I want to leave my ass.

Even now, after Lala Louisiana has left my uterus the effects of my hormones are still lashing out at him. Deep down I don't mean to be so awful but it keeps happening. One second we will be laughing and flirting like we just went to third base and the next minute I'll say something shitty and it's downhill from there. The amazing thing is that the chef actually understands it and he even tells me so. He fucking rocks. Hormones do not.

One more thought...

The thing that I keep obsessing over with the chef is how he looks. In the delivery room he wore a black wife beater and jeans. An outfit I normally would approve of. But for some reason all I could see was Prisoner 8976548. Then in the past couple of days he has been rockin' this long sleeve shirt but turned inside out. Again normally I wouldn't give a fuck. I like scruffy scrubby guys. I always have. The scruffier the better. If you look like you just got back from a two year stint living in a tent I am probably going to look your way. I think it stems from my past obsession with grunge. I grew up when Kurt Cobain was a god and Chris Cornell was the hottest guy out there. So why now do I want the chef to look different than what I like and am attracted to. When I look of pics of him I think he looks super dead sexy but for some reason when he is in front of me I give him shit.

It's all in the hormones man. They can make a girl turn preppy. Hahahah...just kidding...no way is that gonna happen.
I think my chi or my balance or whatever the fuck it's called is messed up. Maybe I need a good 'ol rock show or maybe I just need a drink.