The Louvre Lays Down the Law

When we were in Paris I made sure that I got to do much museum hopping.  The first plan of attack for the museums was for the Chef & I to hit up the Musee D'Orsay.  We hopped on our (rented) bikes and rode across the Seine to what we thought was the D'Orsay.  We waited in line and smoked many Galouisies.  It felt like three hours but eventually we were let in.  The excitement was building for me and then BAM!  I opened my eyes.  We were not in the Musee D'Orsay.  We were 2 the Grand Palais Museum at the Picasso & the Masters Exhibition.

I was hella excited however a bit concerned that we were not going to be able to fit the Musee D'Orsay.  The Chef assured me that no matter what I would get a day at the D'Orsay and we happily entered the exhibit.  I was shocked to be surrounded by all things Picasso.  Paintings, prints, sketches, drawings, words & letters.  You name it, I saw it.  After seeing some of his works I decided that I absolutely must take a picture of at least one painting.  The Chef shunned my idea and distanced himself from me as there were huge NO PICTURE signs every three inches.  I pulled out my iPhone and began to snap.  Hell I figured the French would just think I was texting.  Lord knows the iPhone hasn't made it all the way to France.  Apparently I had drunk brain when I decided this was a smart move.

I managed to take some sweet shots of some art that I had never known existed:

I also managed to get threatened with French jail.  

Picasso interprets my Chef

A security guard came up to me as I was taking this shot (of the Chef) and let me know that my picture taking was not appreciated and she was going to arrest me if she saw me taking any more.  I tried to explain to her that I was just texting and I slowly touched the screen to go to keyboard.  Of course my dumb ass pressed camera and all my pictures showed.  I immediately shoved the phone in my pocket and began to walk away.  I heard her on her walkie talkie saying something about a blue Americana.  Of course I chose to wear a VIBRANT teal shirt that day and amongst the sea of black I stood out like the criminal I am.

Eventually I caught up with the Chef and we decided that it was probably best if we hurried thru the rest of the exhibit before my ass landed in the pokey.

 

 

The Louvre was another museum where I may or may not have caused some rawkus.  When we arrived at The Louvre I noticed that camera's WERE allowed.  However flash photography was not.  No problem since I have such a GREAT fucking camera.  Actually it blows and no flash pictures tend to be fuzzy.  But I sucked it up and started messing with my POS camera.  Eventually I got it to the right setting for indoor tragically famous paintings of androgyny:

What's this Biznitch thinking?

The Mona Lisa was quite unimpressive.  I think it was probably because of all the asshole tourists pushing through so they could take a picture.

Honestly I could not understand the hype.  I bet the majority of people taking photos of Miss Lisa were probably only doing so because The Da Vinci Code told them to.

Although Mona bummed me out, I did get floored by a few other divine creations:

      

DaVinci DaVinci DaVinci

Once I calmed myself down after seeing such amazing pieces I managed to piss this woman off royally:

Basically she was painitng a painting and I thought it would be brilliant if I snapped a shot.  My shit camera had a mind of it's own.  Apperantly it decided that the flash was very well needed so when I clicked it flashed and she wigged the F out.  I have evidence:

She started screaming at me in French and then absolutely everyone in the goddamn museum had to turn and look at me.  It was awesome.  Nothing like starting trouble in the place where Tom Hanks solved The DaVinci code.

But really (aside from my childlike behavoir) both museums were absolutely incredible and worth every euro. Life changing in fact.

For more awesome pictures of priceless works of art, check out Widow Flickr Paris Style.

Peace.

Chef really finds himself RELAXED at The Louvre

What is it all about?  The DaVinci Code II, that is...