Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

The Chef and I are a team.

We make decisions together as husband and wife, and we make business decisions together as partners. We learned over time that together we are an unbeatable team. I am his yin, he is my yang. We gets shit done. Every career decision he makes, we make together. He asks me about food, I edit his recipes. He helps me with PR decisions, I help him with HR. We are a well oiled machine that has been making moves in the kitchen for the past 8 years.

Recently we came to an impasse about a career decision. Deep down in my soul I knew he was making the wrong choice about a project. At first I didn't express my opinion, I hoped life would intervene and the decision wouldn't have to be made. I stood back and watched as the collective cards fell into place and before I knew it the Chef was about to sign on the dotted line. It was then I knew it was now or never, speak now or forever hold your peace Amelia. I opened my mouth and began my plea.

Unfortunately we just couldn't see eye to eye, a compromise was not possible and the Chef is moving forward with the project. I think it's a shotty move and I told him my fears. I told him that although I would support him with whatever he decided I would withdraw my influence. I would not be able to help with the project seeing as I did not agree with it. It would not be fair to him or me if I was not 100% behind the project, so I would wash my hands of it.

He understood and we moved away from the decision amicably. Today the Chef is moving forward with the project and I have accepted that, only problem is that I'm devastated. I'm not upset because he didn't agree with me or even that he is moving forward with the project. I am sad because it is the first time EVER in our relationship that we couldn't come the final result was not something we agreed upon together. And that scares the shit out of me. Every time I look at him all I see is us moving apart. I know that sounds so silly because most married people don't make EVERY decision together. Most people in relationships probably don't even make half of their decisions together. But we are not MOST PEOPLE. This is our thing. This is how we work. Making decisions together is our thing. It's what we do.

Except now it isn't.

Our relationship is evolving and for that I am always grateful. A stagnant relationship makes for a dead relationship and none of us want that for sure. I hope in the end, my insight was off and his decision to move forward with the project was the right decision.

Fingers crossed.