Chef's Widow: The Early Years
So much has changed since I first started this blog. I became a better speller, my writing got a little bit less terrible, our family grew, and we opened a ridiculous amount of restaurants in our hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. I stopped bitching & whining about the Chef as much, got busy with family, work and life, and this 'lil blog took a seat on the back-burner.
I began to find it hard to follow the previous discourse of the original idea behind this blog. You see, I started writing Chef's Widow because I was home alone every single day in the city that never sleeps with a newborn baby and a chef husband. I was lonely. I missed having a life and I had little or no idea what it truly meant to be married to a chef. It's funny to me now, I didn't even have a clue to how busy we could actually be. Back then being a Chef's Widow meant I didn't go out to nightclubs anymore and instead of staying out all night with the Chef, I stayed up all night with the baby. Looking back, those days we were living on easy street.
Fast forward seven years and I am finally figuring out what being a Chef's Widow truly means to me. Being married to a Chef, particularly one like mine, is no easy feat. I married a man who is quite frankly, insane. Not clinically lock his ass up insane, just a little dance moms ADHD insane. Dude is beyond intense. You see, as long as I've known him, he has never stopped. The ideas have never stopped, the inspiration & creativity grows and blossoms each day, and when most people seem to lose talent as they age, the Chef only gets better. His ever evolving personality has made it possible for me to enjoy the hectic all encompassing ride.
Together we have figured what works for our family. Sure, sometimes when I hear he is only gonna be home for 7 days over the next 2 months (UGH) while I'm soccer mom'ing the shit out of the mini's, a little snarky jealousy sneaks in, but it's only fleeting. I've learned how important the trips and the travel are, not only for our family and restaurants, but for the world we are all so connected with. Plus I know that he's just as jealous as I am, for all the glitz and glam can't even come close to replacing time with the minis, dogs, and chickens.
The Chef raising money for Autism Speaks alongside a sharply dressed Chef Symon is a close second to time with the minis.
The Chef and I have been travelling down this long and winding road for so long that I finally feel comfortable being a Chef's Widow. I have learned to embrace our notsonormal life and create our own cray cray path of happiness.
After 7 years of being with the Chef, I think we have finally learned what we want as a family and how to get it. #1 we want to be together. We are strangely infatuated with each other as a family. I say strangely because when I grew up my family didn't enjoy each other. Yes, we went on family vacations and had family get-togethers, but I genuinely cannot remember a time when my parents, my brother, and myself just sat around laughing, playing a game, or going on a walk. I don't remember them ever saying "I love you." Not once. My parents were unhappy which meant our family was never complete. The family I've created with the Chef is the exact opposite. Even when we struggle with life, the core is still there, our love for each other has never disappeared. If anything, it's only grown stronger.
The Chef and I realize that our life is truly an adventure. It is an adventure that we have designed by the choices we make together, by the risks we embrace, and by the love we share for one another and our children. It's not always pretty and there are times where I stumble momentarily and wish for a 'normal' life. Then one of our chickens lays an egg in my son's shoe and I can't help but throw my head back and laugh. For all of our chaos, my original lonely definition of Chef's Widow doesn't hold true for me anymore. And for that, I am oh so glad.