Bitchy Resting Face
Yesterday my daughter looked up at my face and said "mommy why are you mad?" "I'm not mad," I replied. "But mommy your face looks mad." The past couple of days this has been a common conversation between my 6 year old and myself. I know why I look mad. I'm just not sure how to tell her that I have been blessed with bitchy resting face. When my face is not in a smile, I look unhappy. I can't help it, I was born this way. We've all got our crosses to bear and mine is BRF. Throughout my entire life I have always gotten into trouble for having a "mean look" on my face. When I was young my parents used to scold me for giving mean looks at them when the fact was, I simply wasn't. It was just my face. For the majority of time, I smile like crazy but when I am not smiling, if I am just simply resting my face, I have a tendency to look like Maleficent. My resting face can cut a bitch.
The phenomenon of bitchy resting face was called out front and center a few years back after a video about it was put on YouTube. I felt a little better about myself after the clever and SO TRUE video came out because it put a name to the reason everyone always assumes I'm a bitch. I'm not though (most of the time) and it absolutely guts me to think that for even a second my sweet baby girl could think I am unhappy being around her.
But you guys. I'm not mad. It's just my face. And see I totally smile. SEE ------------------------->>>>>
But when your daughter asks why you are mad in her presence, you can't really say "Well honey, I have bitchy resting face. When I'm not smiling I look like a mean ass bitch." I tried to explain it to her that my face when I'm not smiling just looks like I'm a little mad but that didn't work at all. She kept insisting that I was mad, and I kept trying to explain that I wasn't mad, which then made me a little mad. So we came up with a plan. During the day we are going to smile at thirty different random people. She is going to remind me to smile more so maybe my resting bitch face can take a backseat for a little while. I started yesterday at The Cleveland Clinic and even though I got a few "why the fuck are you smiling at me looks," the majority of people smiled back.
And if doesn't work there's always plastic surgery. Permagrin here I come.