Moms is Here to Stay

I've never really seen myself as a moms. At least up until now. Before when I was solely mother to the boy, the whole mom thing never came up. I was still just Amelia but with a really awesome cool kid that hung out with me. I thought of myself as Amelia+1. But that all changed with the birth of Lou.

I wasn't aware how momlike I was until my BFF & I ventured to our ten year high school reunion this past weekend. It was there that I was congratulated on my momness and all that came with it. People who I used to smoke cigarettes with in my high school bathroom almost seemed proud & astounded that I was an actual mom. It was really fucked up. Not to mention lame and boring and held at a shitty sports bar in Lakewood. But that's besides the point...

As I write this post
, I know for a fact that I am a mom. Two kids won't let you get a way with just being you + two. I am in the trenches of momdom. Between the diapers and the poop and the baby wearing there's not much Amelia left. She's in there and she comes out after a few glasses of wine but right now there is just mom. And I am good with that. I am great with that. I actually treasure it. It makes me go crazy and insane and my big ol' boobs are ruining my back but I dig it. Everyday I get to hang out with these really amazing kids that I created (with some help of course, thank you chef). I get to act like a kid and I melt every time Catcher says "I lub vu too. "

Although I admit that I could really use a day at the spa or a week in St. Barth's. Soon. Really soon. Really really soon. Like tomorrow soon.

No mistaking it, this widow is an actual mommy.