I Hate Santa Claus

Always have, always will. I was never a believer or fan of the imaginary friends. Even when I was a little tike I knew it was a bunch of malarkey. Now that I am hella old and a mom I need to figure out what to do about the fat man. The problem is that every other parent (no offense) shoves SC down the throats of their children. How can I be the one to negate the lie? Plus do I really want Catcher to be that kid? The one that shatters the dreams of every innocent 5 year old by telling them the honest truth about Mr. Claus.

I discussed this issue with my way smarter BFF and she told me that she is going to tell her littler girl that Santa gives toys to less fortunate kiddies. That got me thinking. Maybe somehow I could tell Catcher the same thing and parlay it into a lesson of giving or helping the less fortunate. Last night I dreamt about a homeless man. This morning the Santa Claus debacle was solved.

I have decided that I will tell him there is a Santa Claus (not a magical man) and he helps people less fortunate than us (Red Cross Santa). On Christmas Day we will go help people (just like Santa). I haven't figured out the details yet but I think we will go to a Homeless Shelter and hand out dinners or maybe a children's hospital and hand out some toys. I think this could be the start of a beautiful tradition.

I just want the boy to know that I have always been honest with him. I hate propagating the lie of Santa. Really it doesn't benefit him. It just makes him think that this crazy fat magical man brings a shitload of toys for no good reason to kids all around the world. In this insanely commercialized civilization I think Santa only makes kids feel like they deserve way more than the do. It gives kids a sense of entitlement to things without earning them. And I'm not cool with that.

And no I'm not a Scrooge. I happen to be listening to Johnny Cash's Christmas album as I type.

~Did I mention that this SC was making a move on my booty as the elves were taking a pic? Really he was~ as the camera flashed Santa's hand moved lower and lower down my back. Thank god Catcher hates Santa and started wailing or I may have had to call Santa on some sexual misconduct~