Stood Up @ 29

I have been a Stay at Home Mamma for 3 1/2 years and I don't regret a day of it.  My decision to stay home with Catcher at first stemmed from the fact that I didn't want to do day care.  Nor did I want to pay for it.  The fact was when Catcher was born my salary in NYC was next to nothing and day care would have taken it all.  The cost of a nanny ($100,000/yr) was out of the question. I have thoroughly enjoyed staying home with my kids.  It has MADE my life!  Everyday I see something new in each of them and I everyday I am taught something new by each of them.  It is like university all over again minus the vodka and zannies.  I love having the freedom to educate my children and take them to places most kids have yet to see.  I am proud of the fact that I can do the parenting thing on my own.  I can pack up the Prius with 2 kids, their double stroller, and head downtown to spend the day at the Science Center.  I can take both kids grocery shopping and be out in under an hour.  I somehow manage to get Biggie Smalls bathed & fed & in bed every night by 8.  Each night I lay the boy down by 9 and I find myself reading 30 book straight until 10.  And I am happy. So so happy.

My days can be stressful, my days can be perfect.  But at the end of said day all I need to do is look at there way to cute faces and know I made the right choice.

But sometimes choices are taken away.  Sometimes the choice is no longer an option.  Sometimes your choice leads to a bigger choice.  When the Chef & I moved from Brooklyn to Cleveland we knew we were going to open a restaurant.  And we knew that I was going to work in it.  The Greenhouse Tavern project has been moving forward weekly and I need to get involved.  I need to play a more active role with the rest of the time.  Starting next week I will attend the weekly project meetings on Tuesdays as well as take a 4 week class about LEED on Wednesday night.  I am also writing this blog, updating the Chef's blog,  and writing for and on a weekly basis.  And I am trying to shed some FAT before Paris so I have decided that I am going to sign up for a hellacious class called Boot Camp.  Apparently it is designed like the actual Boot Camp one goes to if they sign up for the war.  Doesn't sound fun but sounds very effective.  Did I forget to mention that  also have two kids under 3, one super allergic to everything pitbull, and one pug who loves to sneak under the fence and run away at the most inopportune times?

So yeah.  That's my crazy life.  And to help out with my vida loca the Chef & I have decided to hire some help.  We started looking for a grad student/nanny/mother's helper last week to help us out every Tuesday.  I have gotten a few responses and even set up an interview this morning.  The girl who responded sounded great, her resume rocked and she even offered up a background check.  The problem...she no showed and no called.  Until now.

As I began to type this post I was angry.  The Chef & I wasted all morning waiting around for our potential sitter and she no showed.  I had set up the appointment for 10.30am.  By 12.30pm we knew that we probably were'nt going to see her.  Then about half way through this post, she called.  It was 1pm.  She said that she got stuck at the doctore's with her son and didn't have my phone number to call.  We chatted for a few minutes and we rescheduled for Wednesday.  My question is this.  Should I have evn bothered to reschedule?  Is her not showing up a sign of things to come?  How did you find help for your own families?  I could use all the advice I could get.  I am so NERVOUS about leaving them in someone's care but I have to do it.  I have to be able to leave them.  It's just a matter of time before GHT is open and I am putting 25 hours in.