Smelly McSmellerson

I am not a fan of conventional deodorant.  Frankly the whole aluminum debate turned me off of the product years ago.  I know, I know. I'm an ex-smoker(20 day smoke free!), I am most likely going to get some form of cancer.  I just can't handle the whole cancer thing through my armpits, plus the fact that 99.9% of deodorant companies test on animals really turns me of.   So what is one to do when they don't use conventional deodorant?  Well they go natural of course. And natural usually means smelly.  Really smelly.  Because of my desire to go au naturale,  I have tested multiple "natural/aluminum free/organic/crystal/paraben free deodorants.  After years of buying trying new brands, I have finally found one that works.

Fuck yeah.

Before I reveal the most awesome natural deodorant first I will tell you about some sub par naturals.

My first delve into natural deodorant was the Crystal Body Deodorant Stick.  I chose this one because it has the lowest EWG toxicity rating of 0 (out of 10).  No cancer. However having absolutely no risk of cancer most likely means having absolutely no chance of actually working.  This deodorant crystal needs to get wet before applied and then when you do actually apply it, it really does feel like your rubbing a crystal in your pits.  Which if you didn't know, hurts.

Bye Bye crystal.

Trader Joe's Unscented Deodorant w/ Cotton was my next attempt at smelling like a lady.  Paraban and aluminum free is what drew me to this brand.  Also it was on sale at Trader Joe's.  I am guessing it was on sale because it sucks.  It smells like wax and seems to make me sweat more.  Don't know how this is possible but it is.   The EWG has not yet rated it but after getting a serious rash on my lady pits I quit the product.

After the Trader's Joe's rash experience I gave up on deodorant.  I stopped wearing it all together.  I found myself warning people that I might smell and I think the Chef may have actually gotten into my stank.  Marriage is really weird.  A couple moths passed and I realized that I couldn't stand the smell of me.  So I went back to EWG, looked at all their deodorant and found that Tom's Long-Lasting Aluminum Free Deodorant Stick has a EWG toxicity rating of 3 (out 10).  I bought it and started using it immediately.  Literally. I put some on while walking to my car.

Tom's smells superyum.  I got the Lemongrass flavor and when I put it on I want to put it everywhere.  It smells that good.  And it also actually works.  For the most part.  If I put it on before the restaurant I am guaranteed to smell 2 hours later.  If I put it on before a nice relaxing day at home the stank never comes.  I have really liked this brand and was getting pretty used to it being my 'deodorant' choice.

Until now.


My pits' peeps

A few days ago my deodorant obsession emerged during a trip to Whole Foods.  A giant NEW sign was screaming out to me: "Look at me lady, I'm a new deodorant you can try &...I AM A SPRAY!!!!!" I succumbed to the marketing genius behind that cardboard sign and caved.  My new Avalon Organics Deodorant Spray was going home with me.  I am proud to say I have bee odor free since that day, three days ago.  I have worked, I went running, I did yoga, and the Chef & I even had a date night ;) wink wink.  No more smelly mcsmellerson.  And the toxicity rating is only a three, higher than the crystal, the same as Tom's but way the hell lower than my old all time favorite REAL deodorant/antiperspirant Degree, who's rating is 6.

This is day 3 of smelling like lavender and I must say I am quite pleased.  I just hope this relationships lasts forever.