Today was 45 degrees and it felt like I was on an island basking in the sun. This cruel winter has made me happy about 45 degrees. I don't even know who I am anymore...
Now that the signs of spring are upon us I can start to close the door on my what seemed like forever hibernation and open the door to sunshine and blue skies. This winter was brutal not only because of the cold but because of the amount of work the Chef and I have been putting in at the restaurants all while trying to balance happy healthy productive kids.
It's not fucking easy.
The Chef cooking nights while I work during the day and become a taxi cab in the evenings didn't do our relationship any favors. The term Chef's Widow became redefined in our house as the Chef cleaned up other people's messes and worked the line every night. The old fights came back and just like that I was a new mamma with a newborn at home by myself everynight. This time though, I didn't write about.
I'm not sure why.
Writing about the struggles of being married to a chef has always been easy for me. But for some reason this time it wasn't. I have learned many important lessons, both good and bad, since we opened our first restaurant in 2009 and one of them has remained constant. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Angelina Jolie knows what I'm talking about fo sho.
And it' so true. The things that we have gone through in the past five years are enough to fill a novella, or at least be turned into a Mexican soap opera. But my focus on the pain is gone now and all I can see is a beautiful support system growing at the restaurants, a Chef who still works as hard as he did 10 years ago and loves me to the depths of this Earth, and a family of my own that I am completely smitten by. For the first time in years I feel completely at peace.