8 Things I've Learned in 8 Years of Marriage

Eight years ago the Chef and I said I do...This is what I've learned so far:

 

  1. Marriage, while glamorized by wedding dresses and exorbitant wedding receptions, is not all rainbows and unicorns. To make marriage work you have to work at it. There will be times that make you question it all, there will be times that will be bad. It's during those times that you find out that putting the effort in to marriage is really what makes it work. 
  2. Communicating is key. Talking about daily life, your dreams, your hopes, your needs, and your wants. These are all very important to keep a marriage happy and exciting. Having goals in your marriage is equally important.
  3. Making a concentrated effort to date or spend time together is necessary to a successful relationship. Not making an effort to spend quality alone time together leads to built up resentment about other shit going on in life. 
  4. Getting out of debt made our relationship better. It sounds transparent, but not having to worry about $12,000 of debt looming over our heads dramatically stopped many arguments we once had. Granted it took us almost 8 years to do this but I can tell you this, we will never have that debt looming again. 
  5. Having sex on a regular basis is like wellbutrin for marriage. And when I say regular I mean daily or at least every other day. SEX is IMPORTANT. F
  6. Kissing everyday is important! I'm not talking about kiss on the cheek. I'm talking about a makeout sesh. It's easy to skip this one between the hustle and bustle of daily life, but I am telling it makes a difference. Making out with your husband immediately makes one feel just a little bit sexiert. 
  7.  Saying "I love you" is a simple thing but so huge. It reminds us both that all of the hard work we put into marriage pays off every day.
  8. Smiling and laughing AT and WITH each other is how I fall in love with The Chef a little bit more each day. Be open to happiness!!

Chef Dads

 Pre Parental Units hence the ciggy

Pre Parental Units hence the ciggy

When the Chef found out he was going to be a dad he was a 24 year old sous chef at Charlie Palmers' now defunct Kitchen 22. I told him the news in the basement office. We had only been "back together" a few months and neither of us had planned for a family. He was happy when I told him, his grin expanded and he quickly pulled me to his chest. His reaction threw me for a loop. I had spent a good portion of my commute on the f-train going over different scenarios and none of them ended with happiness and embrace. I should have known then exactly what type of father the Chef would grow to be. 

That moment happened almost ten years ago and since that warm embrace, the Chef and I have built a family together, we have a built a home for our two children and we have built a partnership within our marriage. The choice made those ten years ago by the Chef to embrace fatherhood and choose that over everything else has stayed with him to this day.

He is a Chef Dad.

Last week the Chef took me to Philly for a few days to celebrate my 3̶5̶t̶h̶, 29th birthday. We ate our way through the city and spent some time with chef friends. I even got to meet #babysolo who was born on my birthday! It was a much needed weekend as the Chef and I had barely been on speaking terms prior to that. {Opening a restaurant is NOT GOOD for marriage, no matter how good you think your marriage is} We went to Zahav (if you haven't been, RUN) for dinner after meeting my birthday twin, and our conversation turned to fatherhood. We had just spent the afternoon with another chef dad and the conversation expanded to dads in the industry. As a chef wife, I see it all. I see the cheaters (there are ALOT), I see the drugs, I see the passion and talent, I see the insanity and drive, I see the sobriety, I see the bad and I sure as hell see the good.  

 

Post Kiddos (see no ciggy!)

The Chef Dad can be defined simply as this: "A Chef who loves being a dad and puts that at priority #1." The Chef Dad is as passionate about fatherhood as he is about the food on his plate. He moves mountains to be at soccer games and leaves early to be at kindergarten graduations and heads back to the restaurant after. He is an active participant in family life. He does dishes, he takes out the trash. There is nothing more important to the Chef Dad than his family. Chef dads are becoming a regularity nowadays and I see it more and more now that chefs our age are starting families.  Chef Dads work just as hard as non chef dads. They still live and breath the restaurant and their kitchen. They still work insane hours and travel too much. They just figure out how to do both. Whether it be bringing the kids to the new restaurant (sorry kids it's almost open I promise!) or taking them to events (our kids worked their first event in May!), the Chef Dad believes that the kitchen and family can be integrated. 

Spending time with a bunch of Chef Dads last week was so fulfilling. It is wonderful to see boys evolve into men and even more amazing to see men turn into Chef Dads. I know I will be raising a glass to all the Chef Dads I know this year on Father's Day!

 

Oscars Anniversary

NYC 2003

10 years ago I went to New York City on a whim. My best friend / ex high school boyfriend lived in the city and worked as a chef. I was finishing school and he invited me down for the weekend. I had never been to the city and was immediately 
overwhelmed with an obsessive love as I got my first taste of life outside of Ohio. 

We walked around New York City hopping in and out of restaurants and bars until we happened upon a tiny, empty bar in Times Square. As we sat at the bar I noticed the Oscars had just started. We would be in for the long. As we drank wine & our teeth turned purple the long awards show plowed. Chicago ended up taking the win for best picture and I ended up taking the win for best decision of my life.

 In their Oscar swag trying to stay awake for the show

In their Oscar swag trying to stay awake for the show

Last night we watched The Oscars as a family. Louisiana fell asleep after the red carpet and Catcher managed to make it to see Harry Potter. Before they crashed we spoke about the night 10 years ago when the Chef and I drank red wine together and watched the Oscars in a tiny, empty bar in Times Square not ever imagining what life would turn out to be.

We told them how that night was the spark that began the story of us.

The show holds a special place in our hearts no matter how silly or strange (ummm Michelle Obama really?)or long it is. The Oscars is a glamourous reminder for our little family of how our ever evolving story began. Watching The Oscars together has quickly become a #teamsawyer tradition.

“You’re all standing up because you feel bad because I fell and that’s really embarrassing"

BTW, how awesomely refreshing is Jennifer Lawrence?

Did you watch The Oscars last night? Favorite moments? Extreme dilikes (the boob song possibly)? Best dressed? Spill it. 

Love & Pink Hair

I have pink hair now. Actually just pink highlights, but still, my hair be pink.

The winter has been mild here in the CLE and the seasonal depression has yet to set it. As I write this is it 60 degrees in Cleveland. The sun is shining and everyone I have seen today has had the joker smile plastered across their faces. I think it must be my pink hair.

Valentine's Day is in 15 days. While the Chef & I don't shove chocolates down each others throats we do celebrate our love. Normally the Chef is in the kitchen and this year is no different. Except it is!!! The night before Valentine's Day is something so special and never before seen in Cleveland. Chef Cory Barrett of Lola notoriety is doing an all dessert dinner as a Brick and Mortar Popup. I have been a HUGE Cory fan ever since I first tasted his 3am special and I have been running 5 miles a day in preparation for what is sure to go down as a memorable evening.

I would LOVE it if you could join me so I'm gonna giveaway a couple of tickets ($150 value) to this DELECTABLY DELICIOUS DINNER. To win leave me a comment telling me the MOST ROMANTIC thing that has ever happened to you or that you have done for someone else.

I will announce a winner on February 6th, which gives you a week to ask that special someone to be your dessert dinner date.

Good luck bitches.

V-Day Adventure: Part I

When people hear the name of my blog their faces immediately turn to that of sadness or glee. Sadness because they think my husband is dead or glee because they get it. Chef's Widow came about when the Chef & I were in Brooklyn. The Chef was heading up Symon's Parea and I was mommy to the sweetest one year old boy in the world. Because the Chef was opening the restaurant we literally saw him for two hours a week. Those two hours were spent in the restaurant on Saturday mornings. I would host & make rezzies, he would spend the morning with the boy, and later meet me at the restaurant when my shift ended and his began. During that time, the manager dubbed me the Chef's Widow. He said he had heard the term restaurant widow but thought Chef's Widow suited me better.

I tend to agree.

These days aren't nearly as bad or lonely as those days however we definitely don't get normal couple time. On the weekends I can barely check my facebook without being envious of those couples I know that are having dinner, seeing movies, or spending the night at home drinking wine and talking (ahem...talking). The Chef and I don't get those nights. We don't go on dates. We don't go out to dinner and we definitely don't drink wine and talk. Who has time for that anymore?

Lately I have been feeling the void. I have been missing the Chef. I have been missing the allure of romance. Basically I have been a super sappy why aren't you romantic anymore kind of mess.  Our five year wedding anny is on the 27th and V-day was last week. The weeks prior I was a moping sap. Moping around, dropping hints that the Chef is no longer romantical with me. Being pretty lame was I (in yoda voice).

The day before Valentine's the Chef took the kids to TJ Maxx to pick up my present. While out he put this on FB:

Apparently he forgot that I'm on Facebook.

A.

Lot.

When he got home he was as giddy as a five year old at a candy store in anticipation of our Valentine's Day gift exchange. I thought he had lost it. We let the kids open there treats first and then it was my turn. I slowly opened the large box to find a small grey notebook. I opened the notebook to find a set of instructions telling me to pack a bag and be ready at a moment's notice to go. His words told me not to worry and trust him. Oh shite.

I was leery.

The Chef, a very talented man in the kitchen, may or may not be the best planner. His intentions, obviously beyond adorable, were born of love I know, but the whole me not knowing adventure thing really made me nervous. I am the planner in our relationship, the responsible one, the organized half. Being that I constantly worry about everything, I decided to say fuck it and go with the flow. I had been craving romance and that's just what the Chef was trying to give me.

Imagine my surprise this Friday morning when he grabbed my packed bag and told me we were ready to hit the road!

To be continued....

A Widow Weekend

Saturdays make it very easy for me to feel sorry for myself.  When the majority of families are spending time together, I'm on my own.

By the end of the day I was cursing the restaurant, the chef, and this life.

I went to sleep alone.

When I woke up I was smothered by a smelly chef, a stinky pit bull, a naked five year old, a fat pug, and a princess.  Saturday was immediately forgotten.

As we started our day I looked around at the faces the followed me and realized that even though I am alone the majority of the time, the love I receive when we are all together makes up for it.

Saturday's suck.  They always will.  But Sundays, Sundays will always be our day.  The day when we truly  realize how fortunate we are.  The day that brings us together and reminds us that even though our time together is limited, our family is strong.

Chef's Widow of the World

What is your name & what kind of widow are you?

My name is Sabine Filoni and my husband is Dominique Filoni.  What "type"?  Proud and accepting.  I am proud because we've been married for thirteen years, worked together, built businesses together, weathered storms, started a family and still love each other like crazy.  I'm proud of his talent and accomplishments (Best New Chef 2004, was the youngest French Master Chef in America, etc.) and accepting because I know that he will never pull in the driveway at 5:30 every week night to have dinner with us, to spend weekend going to soccer games, etc.

Being with a Chef in a successful relationship means accepting the lifestyle including the number of hours worked, the crazy days and times of the work, the focus or obsession with food.  You can't be with a Chef and complain down the line - - just like you can't cross the jungle and complain about the wild animals.

Where is your casa & what is your jobby job?

We are currently living in Little Silver, NJ about three miles from the beach.  Dom is chef at a swankly French brasserie on the ocean.   He is from St. Tropez and he the restaurant is modeled after the beach clubs of the French Riviera.  How perfect is that?

I was in the restaurant business for twenty years, mostly as a manager. We worked together for years until we decided to start a family.  I grossly underestimated the change that it would have on our lives and careers.  Initially, we had a nanny during the day, but we quickly realized that it was better for me to be home.  I started a business renting luxury vacation properties in the Caribbean and, four and a half years later, am still running my business from home.  It's great because I get enough adult time, but still get to be with the family. We also have a few investment properties, so I handle those.

How long have you been in a relationship with someone in the ‘industry?’

Dom and I have been together 14 years.  He was cooking in Paris while I was singing there eight blocks away, but we never met.  Six months later in Philadelphia, he was having dinner at a restaurant where I worked, Striped Bass.  I saw him from across the room and must have recognized him because I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  Later that night, he showed up at the employee Christmas party and I approached him.  He had only been in the country ten months and didn't speak much English.  Five minutes later, he had his arm around me, we were drinking Champagne and were talking about how great it would be to go to Paris together.  (We've since been four times.)

What is your biggest turnoff or dislike of being a Chef’s/Restaurant Widow?

Initially, there were none.  We worked together 90 hours a week, traveled together, spent every minute together, had fun days off together . . .  Once kids came along, it became pretty clear that I was shouldering the responsibility for the children.  Dom is the best, but if he's working, he's not here.  I like to say that I'm a single mom whose boyfriend really loves my kids.  Awful, I know.  He was living in Washington DC while I was in Pennsylvania with a two year old, one year old and newborn, trying to sell the house without a realtor and run a business.  I would have developed a nasty dependence on alcohol, but I didn't have enough time.  Seven months later, we were back together.  Dom's current position means that he works his tail off in the summer, then work less in the off season.  He now gets to see the kids for an hour in the morning before they go to school.

Another downside is that I worry about him.  I hope that years of difficult physical work, long hours on his feet, etc. won't take a toll on his health.

What is your favorite aspect of being a Chef's/Restaurant Widow?

I love tasting his food and the pride I feel when people talk about the restaurant.  Got to say I love the perks!  Traveling to Quebec, France, Italy, Aspen, cruise, etc. were all a direct result of his hard work and talent.  I love going with him to television shoots and prepping for him and watching him on camera.

It must be the tween in me:  I thoroughly enjoy hearing about celebrities when he cooks for them.  Elton John, Michael Jackson, Beyonce and Jay Z on their wedding weekend, Karl Lagerfeld, etc.  I want to know how they act and what they eat.  Maybe I should get a life????

Considering your significant other most likely works a million and one hours a week, how do you find time to keep the relationship alive?

This is a challenge.  I make sure that I am awake every night when he comes home even if it means that I have to up in five hours.  We talk about work (his and mine) for only a few minutes.  We recently took our first trip without the kids in six years. (Thanks, fellow Chefwidow who stayed with the kids!)  We just had another chef marriage break up in our circle recently, so it made us even more aware of how important it is to keep each other the priority.  We try to call each other at least once a day.

When you do have time together what is your favorite thing to do (besides the nasty :)?

We love to go out to eat, of course!  The kids have been raised going out to eat and we enjoy getting them to try new foods.  We like movies, but usually end up just watching them at home rather than getting a babysitter.  (It's tricky for him because he doesn't want to miss out on time with any of us.)

Do you have any sage words of wisdom for those men or women just starting a new relationship with a Chef or Restaurant manager?

Enjoy being with your significant other and take a long, hard look at your life together.  Before you commit, know that this is what you want.  You will not get married and suddenly have every night at home together.  You will not have children and suddenly have your man there to see the first step, change the baby's diaper while you help the oldest with homework.  Know that you can be happy and satisfied with the limited and strange hours your partner can give.  If you are a dependent person, have a bunch of really good dates and move on.  It is unlikely that your chef is going to be able to adjust hours/days.  Read a few chefwidow cautionary tales:  One of the most incredible pastry chefs we have ever known has had his marriage break up because his wife was tired of being a mistress to his pastries.  Just got an e-mail that he worked over 119 hours last week.   One chef marriage just broke up because he was always working and she was lonely and stressed. She ended up cheating.  These circumstances can happen with a spouse in any occupation, but chef marriages have a built in degree of difficulty. If you are independent and strong, go for it!  You can be a successful chefwidow.

Do you cook?

Yes, I cook every night.  I don't devote a lot of time to it, so it stays pretty basic.

What would your last meal/adult beverage on earth be?  Who would you eat it with?

I would have seared scallops over pumpkin risotto with pinenuts and lobster jus and a glass of Champagne.  I would eat it with Dom and the kids (Bianca, 7; Sebastien, 5; Julian, 4). I would invite Randall Grahm of Bonny Doon, Bill Clinton, Coco Chanel, Bill Gates and Alain Ducasse.

I know that being a mother and being married to a Chef makes me insane, how do you handle balancing your family life with such a demanding work schedule of your partner?

I keep my expectations low. I take responsibility for everything - - bills, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, shuttling the kids, etc.  I expect nothing, so when he does help, I consider it a bonus.  I think keeping the kids tight with Papa is a big priority, so we call him in the afternoon and will drop by in the afternoon from time to time so that they stay connected. Our life has been like this for so long that it seems natural now.

If you have/had kids would you encourage them to pursue the restaurant industry as a career?

I want to encourage my kids to pursue their dreams.  If it includes dream in the restaurant business, I will encourage them to take an internship so that they can see the true picture of monotonous potato peeling, vegetable chopping, rearranging the store room, washing pots, long hours, burns, cuts, etc. and not just the fun of creating new dishes or the glory of winning Top Chef.  They would need to understand the enormity of the commitment and, if they were still enthused, I would back them all the way.

Feel free to share an awesome widow facts about yourself &/or anything you’ve got going on…blog, restaurant events, etc…

I am a shameless Karaoke singer, am unable to resist buying cute clothes for my kids, have two rescued cats:  Norwegian forest cat named Prada and a Maine Coon, Gucci.

The kids and I have a dance party every night.  I love play doh, drawing with chalk, Vote for the Worst and my FAVORITE thing in the whole world is vacation.  I love escaping with my family away from the house, school, restaurant, work and love to go on cruises, discover new places, eat in restaurants, drink wine, make sand castles and jump the waves.

Dom and I got married in Las Vegas at Treasure Island.  We were already living together and his visa was about to expire.  I waited until we were married for eight years to change my name on my passport and I used to tell him that I was waiting to see if the marriage worked out to save me the trouble of changing it twice.  Wonder why he never laughed at that one?  He just became a citizen a few months ago.

My business is Exclusive Club Vacations (luxury property rentals in the Caribbean) and I have just started L’Orangerie Group (a consulting firm specializing in hospitality recruiting, special events, etc.).  See my site:

Please feel free to elaborate on anything.

To everyone who knows that I am married to a chef:

1. No, he does not cook for us every night.  He is not home every night.  When he is home, he is tired so we usually go out to eat.

2. Thanks, but I’m not that thin.  I stay thin being married to a chef because See No.1.

3. No, he won’t necessarily be home today.  Sometimes “day off” means “I’ll only be in the kitchen for four hours.”

Sounds like I have lots of negative things to say about being married to a chef.  I love being with a chef - - I just assumed that we all do or we wouldn’t do it!

Love it Sabine!  Hopefully someday I will be able to meet all of you in person.  All you chef's widows are so DAMN interesting.  xo

If you are married, living with, in love with someone in 'the industry' & would like to participate in my wow (widows of the world) feature, please email me now!  chefswidow at gmail dot com yo.

The Bestest in the Restus

Dear Chef,

I must say that this year has been a whirlwind of awesome.  Your career as a Chef is flourishing and you deserve every accolade you get.  You are by far the hard working man I have ever met.  And the fact that your family is makes up your drive is even more impressive.  Congratulations an all of your accolades in the press including the most recent one of Best Chef in the Cleveland Scene Best of Cleveland issue.  You deserve it.

Above all though, conratulations on becoming a man who I and many others have so much respect for.  You inspire the people who surround you to be better people, better employees, better chef, better friends, better wives, better mother, better friends, and better people all around.  Hell take me for example.  I am actually nice now.  Well...for the most part.

You are a best Chef.  You are the Best Chef.  But more importantly you are the best man.  The best father.  The best husband.  The best boss (remember I've seen you in action).   The best friend.  You are however, NOT, the best motorcycle rider driver.  Which is why you don't have a motorcycle.  Obviously.

Love you more,

Wifey

Come Support the Chef!

Monday, July 14th, 2008 Bar Cento, Cleveland 6:30 – 9:30 pm

Join us for a celebration of seasonal specialties prepared in the French tradition by Terra Madre chefs & friends including:

Jonathon Sawyer, Bar Cento Matt Harlan, Lolita Paul Minnillo, The Baricelli Inn David Uecke, Anthe’s Doug Katz, fire food and drink Michael Symon, Lolita and Lola Rocco Whalen, Fahrenheit And more! Our French-style feast will showcase local and seasonal ingredients, heritage meats, artisan cheeses, house-cured charcuterie and other foods produced by Terra Madre farmers and producers.

The event will also feature:

Terra Madre Raffle Kickoff! Grand Prize: Trip for two to Turin, Italy for the Slow Food Salone del Gusto, October 2008. Other fabulous prizes will include: cooking class by Iron Chef, Michael Symon, dinners by Terra Madre chefs, and more!

Meet the 2008 Terra Madre Delegates Aaron Miller, Miller Livestock, Kinsman Cindy & Terry Smith, Goatfeathers Point Farm, Peninsula Abbe Turner, Lucky Penny Farm, Garrettsville Adam & Jennifer Gidlow, On the Rise Bakery, Cleveland Heights Matt Harlan, Lolita, Cleveland Paul Minnillo, Baricelli Inn & Baricelli Cheese Company, Cleveland Jonathon Sawyer, Bar Cento & Greenhouse Tavern & Restaurant, Cleveland David Uecke, Anthe’s Restaurant, Akron Rachel McKinney, Hershey Montessori Farm School, Concord Township $40 per person Proceeds will support Slow Food Northern Ohio’s 2008 Terra Madre delegates and programs.

Call Bar Cento at 216.344.9944 to make your reservation today

Bar Cento is located at: 1948 West 25th Street (across from West Side Market) in Cleveland.

See you on July 14!!!

******A portion of all proceeds will go towards the travel arrangements for all of the Terra Madre chefs.

May Day Rocks

Who would have thought that my innocent road trip out to NYC for your birthday in 2002 would change our lives forever.  I remember that night like it was yesterday.  Hell I remember everything about that trip.  I remember cursing your name as I sat in traffic on the West Side Highway.  I remember being amazed and scarred shitless as I pulled up to your apartment on Rivington.  I remember wishing I still smoked weed after seeing and holding and smelling the 5 lbs of it left in your fridge by the old tenent.  I remember getting ready and not know what to wear but being so happy I brought my kick ass Italian stockings that I bought for $100 in Milan.  I remember listening to The Velvet Underground over & over while smoking ridiculous amounts of Camel Lights in your tiny 400 sq. ft. apartment.  I remember walking in the East Village and being amazed at how cool everything & everyone was.  I remember drinking martini's at Lemon while Dana was woking and then later heading to Beauty Bar in hopes (mine not yours) of seeing Matt Dillon.  I remember flirting with an Irishman and you getting mad even though we were 'just friends'.  I remember being so excited that bars were open until 4 am and then being so utterly exhausted by then I didn't, couldn't, shouldn't drink by 4am.  I remember walking EVERYWHERE and loving it.  I remember watching you and Dana jaywalk while I patiently waited for the littleman to change.  I remember seeing the handmade sign on Second Ave proclaiming 'I Have Cum!' and giggling like a 12 year old schoolgirl. I remember kissing you.  I remember laying in bed with you and thinking 'What the hell am I doing in Manhattan with Sawyer?'.  But what I most remember is loving you in every aspect of the word.  I remember knowing then and still knowing now that you were meant to be with me.  We were meant to be together.  No matter what.  No matter how hard it would be (it was) and how stressful (it is) we would end up as one.

I love you chef. I am so proud to call you my husband.  Happy fucking birthday!

Keep that in mind as the half naked Patron girls are handing out free tequila at your restaurant.

PS  Happy 5th Birthday Vito, I love you too!!!!!   Thanks for licking my feet every single night of my life.  They are really soft now.

"Vito enjoys a bit a roughage every now and then."

Birthdays, Tramp Stamps, & Chicken in the Bread Pin

The chef & I are now the same age. For only a month we will both be 28. Come June 8th my cougar ass will be another year older. But for now I can pretend. We celebrated all day yesterday since the chef has to work some crazy party tonight. We had a blast. We bought a botanical gardens membership, played in the butterfly garden, had lunch at the West Side Market and even managed to get some groceries. Something I am SURE the chef really wanted to do on his birthday. After our full day we dropped Biggie & Catcher off at the mom in laws' casa and headed downtown for our big night out.

Well my friends. Cat's outta the bag. The chef & I are creatures of habit. I had an evening out somewhat planned however the birthday boy kinda changed it when he decided to wear a filthy WAY too small hoodie out. However being his birthday and all I decided to ignore his outfit and improvise. First we headed to Stone Mad, this new joint in Ohio City with an indoor bocce ball court. Very cool design and beautiful stone & tile work. We had a drink and then decided that we would head over to Lolita's. 

Stone Mad's All Custom Tile Bathroom (there's even custom tile on the bathroom stalls)

As usual we had a great time at Lolita's, saw some old friends (although one of them cursed the Cavs to lose), ate some yummy pizza, drank a dirty bird, and then started to hang with the Original Chef's Widow. Somehow I managed to turn the whole chef birthday night out into Widow gets her drink on with OG Widow and manages to get herself a tramp stamp:

Best Birthday Gift Ever: Getting a tattoo of another man's face on your ass. The chef is so proud.

Second Best Birthday Gift: Hangin' out with two hot mamma's~ literally it was hot as fuck in there.

******This post was paid for and approved by Liz Symon

My Ex is a Scumbag

Before I the chef & I got together I must say that I dated some real fuckers. Actually only one of them was a fucker who felt the need to open up a bunch of credit cards in my name and neglect to tell me about them. He lived off me and eventually ripped my heart out of my chest. At the time I was devestated. When the chef and I went to buy our current home we found out about all the debt and had to pay it all off before the loan would go through.  It was alot but somehow we managed to pay it ALL off.  I had to write credit beureus, I had to go to court, and I had to write lots & lots of checks.  All because of some asshole that I thought I loved.  It infuriates me now that at the time I did nothing about it.  I was too heartbroken to even think of taking his ass to court.  I was a lame-o.

Today all of that bullshit came up again.  As some of you know we (the chef & I) are in the process of opening another restaurant.  We are finalizing the loan and of course the bank called.  Apparently a bunch of shit still shows on my credit report and I need to clear it up.  So instead of hanging with the kiddies on this oh so fantastic day I have been carting boxes of paperwork down from my attic in hopes of finding all my paid off debt letters.  Yipee!

I have spent the past three hours talking to creditors, who SUCK no matter what, and trying to clear up my credit report so this loan can go through.

Lesson learned.  Not once.  But twice.  All for some asshole who drank too much and wasn't good in bed.  Granted he was a hunk but as we all know most hunks are usually assholes or gay.

In non related news:

The chef is FAMOUS:

Restaurant Hospitality's Rising Star April 2008

The FAMSTER loves the Farmpark:

Me & Biggie Smalls hang w/ some cows