9 Years...

Nine years ago I was doing shots of vodka in the backroom of a church waiting to marry a boy that I used to sneak out to see in high school. Our one year old was not doing shots of vodka however he was playing with the pearls I wore around my neck. My nerves were outrageous. At 26, getting married was a pretty big deal to me. None of my friends were married. ZERO. Most of my friends were single and I think only 2 of my friends had kids. 

When we had Catcher my dad made me go see a priest (the good Catholic in him couldn't handle the wedlock sitch). I went to his old church in Collinwood and told the priest our story. How we had known each other since we were kids, how we dated briefly in high school, how I became his roommate, and how we eventually became parents to the best boy ever. I told him how my dad wanted me to get married immediately and how neither of us were ready. We had only been dating a few months when we found out we were expecting and I definitely didn't want to rush into something neither of us were 100% sure of. He told me the church no longer believed in forcing people to get married if they were pregnant. I rushed home to tell my dad that I was in the all clear as long as God was concerned. Was in the all clear with him?

My dad relaxed and understood. He had in fact been in a similar situation with me as a baby however the church and family looked down upon him and the only thing he could do was get married. It ended badly. Well besides having me of course. I told the Chef about my meeting with the priest and we both agreed that marriage would come when we were ready for it. I wanted to get married because we were in love, not because we had a baby together. We went on raising our newborn son together as a couple and it wasn't until about a year later when the Chef proposed. We were at his chef from Kitchenn 22's wedding in Boca. The boy came with us, he was only 14 months and we couldn't imagine leaving him. We planned a short tip after the wedding to the Keys to visit our friend Kellie. Turns out our entire trip was all a ruse. The Chef had planned to ask for my hand in marriage.

With a magnum of 1990 Pol Roger on a beach in Key West, the Chef asked me to marry him. Elated and nervous I spit out the only words I could think of.

"Of course you dummy."

That was 10 years ago. Today we are celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary and I can tell you this. We have had a serious adventure. We have fallen in love countless times. We have cried and yelled and hugged and traveled and laughed and stood side by side in some of the most daunting situations of our lives. We have been through a silent hell and back over the last half of our marriage that would have split anyone down the middle. But we stood strong. That love we promised each other on that beach 10 years ago prevailed and got stronger as each day passed. And guess what? Here's the crazy thing about a great marriage, IT ONLY GETS BETTER. Our marriage is way better than it was year 1, year 2, year 3, and so on. Coming from a divorced household, I never thought marriage was supposed to get better, I always thought it just stayed the same or got worse. Not true at all in our case! 9 years in and I can't wait for more.

Happy Anniversary Chef Sawyer, thanks for being the macaroni to my cheese.


8 Things I've Learned in 8 Years of Marriage

Eight years ago the Chef and I said I do...This is what I've learned so far:


  1. Marriage, while glamorized by wedding dresses and exorbitant wedding receptions, is not all rainbows and unicorns. To make marriage work you have to work at it. There will be times that make you question it all, there will be times that will be bad. It's during those times that you find out that putting the effort in to marriage is really what makes it work. 
  2. Communicating is key. Talking about daily life, your dreams, your hopes, your needs, and your wants. These are all very important to keep a marriage happy and exciting. Having goals in your marriage is equally important.
  3. Making a concentrated effort to date or spend time together is necessary to a successful relationship. Not making an effort to spend quality alone time together leads to built up resentment about other shit going on in life. 
  4. Getting out of debt made our relationship better. It sounds transparent, but not having to worry about $12,000 of debt looming over our heads dramatically stopped many arguments we once had. Granted it took us almost 8 years to do this but I can tell you this, we will never have that debt looming again. 
  5. Having sex on a regular basis is like wellbutrin for marriage. And when I say regular I mean daily or at least every other day. SEX is IMPORTANT. F
  6. Kissing everyday is important! I'm not talking about kiss on the cheek. I'm talking about a makeout sesh. It's easy to skip this one between the hustle and bustle of daily life, but I am telling it makes a difference. Making out with your husband immediately makes one feel just a little bit sexiert. 
  7.  Saying "I love you" is a simple thing but so huge. It reminds us both that all of the hard work we put into marriage pays off every day.
  8. Smiling and laughing AT and WITH each other is how I fall in love with The Chef a little bit more each day. Be open to happiness!!

Oscars Anniversary

NYC 2003

10 years ago I went to New York City on a whim. My best friend / ex high school boyfriend lived in the city and worked as a chef. I was finishing school and he invited me down for the weekend. I had never been to the city and was immediately 
overwhelmed with an obsessive love as I got my first taste of life outside of Ohio. 

We walked around New York City hopping in and out of restaurants and bars until we happened upon a tiny, empty bar in Times Square. As we sat at the bar I noticed the Oscars had just started. We would be in for the long. As we drank wine & our teeth turned purple the long awards show plowed. Chicago ended up taking the win for best picture and I ended up taking the win for best decision of my life.

In their Oscar swag trying to stay awake for the show

In their Oscar swag trying to stay awake for the show

Last night we watched The Oscars as a family. Louisiana fell asleep after the red carpet and Catcher managed to make it to see Harry Potter. Before they crashed we spoke about the night 10 years ago when the Chef and I drank red wine together and watched the Oscars in a tiny, empty bar in Times Square not ever imagining what life would turn out to be.

We told them how that night was the spark that began the story of us.

The show holds a special place in our hearts no matter how silly or strange (ummm Michelle Obama really?)or long it is. The Oscars is a glamourous reminder for our little family of how our ever evolving story began. Watching The Oscars together has quickly become a #teamsawyer tradition.

“You’re all standing up because you feel bad because I fell and that’s really embarrassing"

BTW, how awesomely refreshing is Jennifer Lawrence?

Did you watch The Oscars last night? Favorite moments? Extreme dilikes (the boob song possibly)? Best dressed? Spill it.