The Widow’s future self (yes I do wear fruit pajamas and sunglasses in the morning)

The next month of our lives is going to be I-N-S-A-N-E. Our schedule is jammed pack starting tomorrow:

Stars & Bars Celebration at the restaurant, then the Iron Chef’s annual 4th of July bash.

Monday is Catcher’s 4th birthday and I think we are going up to the islands to celebrate and possibly to the point.  You know how we love the coasters.

Tuesday, the Chef is filming Good Company.

Thursday I have a tattoo removal appointment, ouch.

July 12th is Catcher’s Superhero Social and July 13th is the Slow Foods Bastille Day Celebration, both at the restaurant.

July 14th the Chef goes to NYC to film Iron Chef & Nickelodeon’s Best Local Blog Contest Ends (vote today!), July 15th The Tavern is doing WOW, and July 16th-18th the whole family heads up to Sawmill Creek for the Veggi U Food & Wine Festival.

The 21st, the Chef goes back to NYC (I am trying to go as well but flights are $400) to film another episode of Iron Chef America.  Anybody got any In’s at the airlines?

July 23rd I leave my family for the first time ever and head to Chicago for BlogHer 2009!  I am super stoked but super nervous because I literally know one person that is going to be there.  I am excited for the conference but the party schedule is off the hizook.

The Chef is participating in the First Cleveland Food Rocks Chef’s BBQ on the 25th and I get home on the 26th.

The last 5 days of July are pretty seamless and then we start all over again for August.  Woo Hoo! The life of a chef’s family.

Happy Independence Day.  It is now ours again.

I am not a fan of conventional deodorant.  Frankly the whole aluminum debate turned me off of the product years ago.  I know, I know. I’m an ex-smoker(20 day smoke free!), I am most likely going to get some form of cancer.  I just can’t handle the whole cancer thing through my armpits, plus the fact that 99.9% of deodorant companies test on animals really turns me of.   So what is one to do when they don’t use conventional deodorant?  Well they go natural of course.

And natural usually means smelly.  Really smelly.  Because of my desire to go au naturale,  I have tested multiple “natural/aluminum free/organic/crystal/paraben free deodorants.  After years of buying trying new brands, I have finally found one that works.

Fuck yeah.

Before I reveal the most awesome natural deodorant first I will tell you about some sub par naturals.

My first delve into natural deodorant was the Crystal Body Deodorant Stick.  I chose this one because it has the lowest EWG toxicity rating of 0 (out of 10).  No cancer. However having absolutely no risk of cancer most likely means having absolutely no chance of actually working.  This deodorant crystal needs to get wet before applied and then when you do actually apply it, it really does feel like your rubbing a crystal in your pits.  Which if you didn’t know, hurts.

Bye Bye crystal.

Trader Joe’s Unscented Deodorant w/ Cotton was my next attempt at smelling like a lady.  Paraban and aluminum free is what drew me to this brand.  Also it was on sale at Trader Joe’s.  I am guessing it was on sale because it sucks.  It smells like wax and seems to make me sweat more.  Don’t know how this is possible but it is.   The EWG has not yet rated it but after getting a serious rash on my lady pits I quit the product.

After the Trader’s Joe’s rash experience I gave up on deodorant.  I stopped wearing it all together.  I found myself warning people that I might smell and I think the Chef may have actually gotten into my stank.  Marriage is really weird.  A couple moths passed and I realized that I couldn’t stand the smell of me.  So I went back to EWG, looked at all their deodorant and found that Tom’s Long-Lasting Aluminum Free Deodorant Stick has a EWG toxicity rating of 3 (out 10).  I bought it and started using it immediately.  Literally. I put some on while walking to my car.

Tom’s smells superyum.  I got the Lemongrass flavor and when I put it on I want to put it everywhere.  It smells that good.  And it also actually works.  For the most part.  If I put it on before the restaurant I am guaranteed to smell 2 hours later.  If I put it on before a nice relaxing day at home the stank never comes.  I have really liked this brand and was getting pretty used to it being my ‘deodorant’ choice.

Until now.

My pits’ peeps

A few days ago my deodorant obsession emerged during a trip to Whole Foods.  A giant NEW sign was screaming out to me: “Look at me lady, I’m a new deodorant you can try &…I AM A SPRAY!!!!!” I succumbed to the marketing genius behind that cardboard sign and caved.  My new Avalon Organics Deodorant Spray was going home with me.  I am proud to say I have bee odor free since that day, three days ago.  I have worked, I went running, I did yoga, and the Chef & I even had a date night wink wink.  No more smelly mcsmellerson.  And the toxicity rating is only a three, higher than the crystal, the same as Tom’s but way the hell lower than my old all time favorite REAL deodorant/antiperspirant Degree, who’s rating is 6.

This is day 3 of smelling like lavender and I must say I am quite pleased.  I just hope this relationships lasts forever.

Soon summer will be a distant memory and snow will fill our lives…

At one point in my life I was a vegetarian.  Hard to believe now but I was.  My parent’s were into healthy food as I was growing up and I just migrated towards vegetarianism.  Obviously I am no longer a vegetarian.  I still do not eat a lot of red meat however I do eat meat.  And I love it.

As restaurant owners the Chef & I come in contact with many vegans and vegetarians.  Two of my closets friends are vegan and the Chef has absolutely no problem in getting them fed in our restaurant.  We regularly have customers who are interested in our veg options and I am proud that we offer quite a few.  Last night I came home to 6 different emails regarding a Facebook Group of Vegans & Vegetarians talking shit about our restaurant.  After I saw it we started to get countless emails regarding our ‘lack of options for vegetarians & vegans.”  We also got a few mean emails accusing us of putting ‘fish’ in our vegetarian entree.  We OBVIOUSLY do not do that.  If we did it would not be vegetarian. Duh.

I am pretty sure we are the only (non vegetarian themed) restaurant in Cleveland that has a constant vegetarian entree on our menu.  It changes based on seasonality and it has always been fucking delicious.  Today it is a  Parisian Gnocchi Ratatouille.  We also offer a vegan entree which is the Grilled Romain Puttanesca.  We have countless other options that again change based on seasonality.  As most of you know the Chef is really into the freshest, most local food he can find.   Our servers are well versed in the options.  All one has to do is ask.  The Chef is brilliant (if I might say so myself) at cooking vegetables and he is quite happy to do so.  At this point in time we have 11 different courses that can be vegetarian.  Eleven.  Most restaurants have two.

Since I started writing this, I have gotten three more emails regarding this subject.  I encourage these people to actually come to The Greenhouse Tavern and decide for themselves instead of letting a Facebook group tell them what we are all about.

If you have eaten at our restaurant (talking to you Dana) I gladly invite you to discuss your vegetarian or vegan experience on their group page.  They asked.  We shall tell.

The Downtown Cleveland Alliance is now renting bikes on East 4th!  We absolutely loved renting bikes in Paris and we plan on renting them in Chicago for Lallapalooza.

Save Ohio Libraries! Gov. Dickland is trying to cut libraries budget by 50%.  Pretty soon the states libraries will be in Costco’s.

The Greenhouse Tavern is Open for Lunch!

Bar Symon opens this Wednesday!

Veggi U Food & Wine Celebration is Going to Kick Ass.  Win tickets so you can hang out with the Chef & I (and many other badass famous chefs)!

And the best Cleveland news to date.  The Chef & I are moving to Cleveland!!!  After months and months of trying to rent our pad we finally did it!  No more ‘burbs for us!

I am strangely sad over the news of Michael Jackson’s death.  I heard the news via Twitter before it was actually confirmed and knew it was true.  My heart hurt for a moment.  It was so weird. I felt like I lost someone who I had been close with my entire life.  I was though.  Close with him.   As were you.  We all were.  How could we not be.  His life was a real life Truman Show.  He grew up on film.  He lived on a film.  He died on film.

I think that my heart hurt because Michael Jackson never stood a chance.  I know he was odd.  He dyed his face for chrissake.  Something must have happened in your past to physically alter your skin color. Besides the point. From that moment his mean daddy put him on that stage, his life had ended.  A shell of a man was born.  A man who we will never know the intricacies of.  We will never know if he was as fucked up as he seemed.  But we shouldn’t know.  He is not our brother.  He was not our friend.  Even though we were told  he was by the media’s our obsession with his life from child to man.

I am sad for his family.  I am sad that my kids will never see his concert live like I did.  But that sadness only lasts a moment, for as I turn on the soundtrack of my childhood and dance with my own children, the sadness fades.  Michael Jackson taught us that music can do that. It can make the hard times a little bit easier simply by dancing to the music.

Louisiana shocked me yesterday when she started Moonwalking during our MJ Tribute Dance Party

Catcher has some serious moves. Thinking of selling him to Michael Flately.

Beat it he did.

In all seriousness, I really hope that this is not true. Although MJ turned out to be somewhat of a freak, the man could get down like no one else. His role in modern music changed everything and the majority of pop musicians would most likely be playing in the Mall of America on a Tuesday had he not paved the road for them.

My role in the restaurant is not very defined.  One could actually say it is all over the place.  I answer the Chef’s emails (he gets like 300 a day), I try to keep the calender updated, I stay on top of all the social media (including Facebook, The Greenhouse Tavern blog,  & Twitter), I host on the weekends, and handle other random shit that gets thrown my way.  On top of that, I have also been taking on some of the restaurant’s PR.  We have not actually reached the point financially where we can hire the Chef’s old publicist, so I have been trying to play the role.  It has been difficult because I don’t know that much about PR and I think it’s kinda cheesy that the Chef’s wife is doing it but that all changed when I finally booked something I was going for.

I am very proud to say that I actually booked The Epcot Food & Wine Festival for The Greenhouse Tavern! Dinner for 1000.  Whoa. We had gone to it a few years back and always wanted to participate.  This year I went for it and we got invited!  As of this moment we are not sure we are going to can do it financially.  But just the fact that we got invited after I worked so hard for it makes me feel really fantastic.

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The Chef & I have become Cedar Point junkies.  Any chance we get we drive on up to Sandusky and hit the park.  It’s a little ridiculous and our fun almost ended when the Chef got caught taking pictures on the Blue Streak.  We were going up the hill and the coaster stopped.  My worst nightmare.  Turns out the operators stopped it because the Chef was taking pictures with his Blackberry.  Seriously half way up the hill the coaster stopped.  Then after about 5 minutes Julio came up the stairs and looked confused.  He walked past the Chef and then turned around walking towards him.  He said “no pictures” and walked back down.  Two minutes later the Blue Streak started back up and we were back in coaster heaven.

Modeling my new free threads from the Gap

Never in a million years did I think that writing on the Internets would get me free shit.  I started this blog on a semi drunk night of loneliness while the Chef was opening Parea in NYC.  I used to drink red wine spritzers then.  They were uber delicious on hot summer new york nights, and somehow made the garbage smell disappear from the streets.  The Chef still hates me for making (and drinking) them.  Apparently mixing fance red wine and soda is  a no no in his book.  Shocker.  Anyways back to my original thought…  During those nights while Catcher was sleeping soundly and I was alone in Brooklyn I never never thought that this little blog would do anything.  Chef’s Widow was my shrink.   I was wrong bitches.  And I’m glad I was.

A few months ago BlogHer put out a call for BlogHerships.  A BlogHership is a scholarship to the BlogHer Conference.  I applied and a few months later I found out I was going to the conference for FREE!  Hells yeah. Chicago here I come.

Last week I got an email from a super rad chick named Justine from a company called Brand About Town.  She was offering me free clothes from the Gap.  I thought it was a scam at first but I agreed to meet her.  I left the kids with the Chef at the restaurant and headed to meet her for coffee.  She was rad.  It wasn’t a scam.  She is picking ‘trendsetting’ bloggers (her words not mine) to become Gap Brand Enthusiasts, code for free clothes.  And I love me some free clothes.  Nice.

Now if I could only get some free plane tickets to Florida in August.  Prices are fucking outrageous for flights right now.

**What I do think is a scam is the Nick’s Parents Pick Best Local Blog contest.  However that makes me want to win even more.