I am not a fan of conventional deodorant. Â Frankly the whole aluminum debate turned me off of the product years ago. Â I know, I know. I’m an ex-smoker(20 day smoke free!), I am most likely going to get some form of cancer. Â I just can’t handle the whole cancer thing through my armpits, plus the fact that 99.9% of deodorant companies test on animals really turns me of. Â So what is one to do when they don’t use conventional deodorant? Â Well they go natural of course.
And natural usually means smelly. Â Really smelly. Â Because of my desire to go au naturale, Â I have tested multiple “natural/aluminum free/organic/crystal/paraben free deodorants. Â After years of buying trying new brands, I have finally found one that works.
Fuck yeah.
Before I reveal the most awesome natural deodorant first I will tell you about some sub par naturals.
My first delve into natural deodorant was the Crystal Body Deodorant Stick. Â I chose this one because it has the lowest EWG toxicity rating of 0 (out of 10). Â No cancer. However having absolutely no risk of cancer most likely means having absolutely no chance of actually working. Â This deodorant crystal needs to get wet before applied and then when you do actually apply it, it really does feel like your rubbing a crystal in your pits. Â Which if you didn’t know, hurts.
Bye Bye crystal.
Trader Joe’s Unscented Deodorant w/ Cotton was my next attempt at smelling like a lady. Â Paraban and aluminum free is what drew me to this brand. Â Also it was on sale at Trader Joe’s. Â I am guessing it was on sale because it sucks. Â It smells like wax and seems to make me sweat more. Â Don’t know how this is possible but it is. Â The EWG has not yet rated it but after getting a serious rash on my lady pits I quit the product.
After the Trader’s Joe’s rash experience I gave up on deodorant.  I stopped wearing it all together.  I found myself warning people that I might smell and I think the Chef may have actually gotten into my stank.  Marriage is really weird.  A couple moths passed and I realized that I couldn’t stand the smell of me.  So I went back to EWG, looked at all their deodorant and found that Tom’s Long-Lasting Aluminum Free Deodorant Stick has a EWG toxicity rating of 3 (out 10).  I bought it and started using it immediately.  Literally. I put some on while walking to my car.
Tom’s smells superyum. Â I got the Lemongrass flavor and when I put it on I want to put it everywhere. Â It smells that good. Â And it also actually works. Â For the most part. Â If I put it on before the restaurant I am guaranteed to smell 2 hours later. Â If I put it on before a nice relaxing day at home the stank never comes. Â I have really liked this brand and was getting pretty used to it being my ‘deodorant’ choice.
Until now.

My pits’ peeps
A few days ago my deodorant obsession emerged during a trip to Whole Foods. Â A giant NEW sign was screaming out to me: “Look at me lady, I’m a new deodorant you can try &…I AM A SPRAY!!!!!” I succumbed to the marketing genius behind that cardboard sign and caved. Â My new Avalon Organics Deodorant Spray was going home with me. Â I am proud to say I have bee odor free since that day, three days ago. Â I have worked, I went running, I did yoga, and the Chef & I even had a date night
wink wink. Â No more smelly mcsmellerson. Â And the toxicity rating is only a three, higher than the crystal, the same as Tom’s but way the hell lower than my old all time favorite REAL deodorant/antiperspirant Degree, who’s rating is 6.
This is day 3 of smelling like lavender and I must say I am quite pleased. Â I just hope this relationships lasts forever.